BBC Horizon: Fat vs Sugar

This BBC2 documentary on the Fat/Sugar debate was dismally poor science, if entertaining TV.

Doctors Chris and Xand van Tulleken, who are identical twins, go on month-long diets comprising high volumes of fat or sugar to find out which is worse for the human body.

The two good doctors are exceptionally telegenic, and of course are medical professionals, but don’t appear to be driving the science behind this show - instead they are merely pretty faces and guinea pigs. I would like to know who was the scientific brains behind the show. Some of the experiments - like the low blood sugar bike race up Box Hill - just show something banal, and which the sugar industry has been promoting since at least the 50s - “Sugar gives you energy”. Not a whisper about high / low GI, or the fact that refined sugars are empty nutritionally.

To be fair, neither diet appears to have been a fair reflection of current recommendations from nutritionists in either camp. Going to extremes is good for dramatic effect, but little else. The adverse effects of too little “sugar” are interesting, but I can’t think of anyone who would advocate eliminating carbs in this way - even the dreaded Dr Atkins. The diet tested for ‘zero carbs’ rather than for ‘zero added processed refined sugars’ and therefore missed testing the specific diet the zero-sugar camp is particularly focussed on. An interview with the high-priest of zero sugar, Robert Lustig, was about 10 seconds long and mainly jokingly asked if he’d like a bucket of doughnuts.

While the conclusions seemed reasonable - moderation in all things - I think the programme let refined sugars off the hook. Beeb, we still await a serious investigation of the claims of the no-sugar camp.

Eurovision 2013 - 2nd Semifinal

We have a winner!

I think Norway effortlessly outclasses everything in this competition and should win by a mile. Margaret Berger is an epic Nordic electro ice queen with an anthem that just blows you away. Her song - "I Feed You My Love" - was wonderfully staged and choreographed - minimal, stylish, classy. Gorgeous art deco / Metropolis references. I have a sense that Eastern European audiences are aesthetically in advance of the authorities who choose their countries' entries - so hopefully this very contemporary arrangement will chime with the voters and carry the wonderful Ms Berger to the winner's enclosure.

i wish they would have put a spoiler alert: i'm not up to the point in game of thrones where khaleesi represents norway in #eurovision
— ashley. (@oxfamglamour) May 16, 2013

"I feed you my love." Norway. This is a light entertainment show. Behave. #eurovision #eurovision2013
— Jon Jacob (@thoroughlygood) May 16, 2013

I'm on a diet, thanks. #eurovision
— BBC Eurovision (@bbceurovision) May 16, 2013

Norway was also rocking those 2013 essentials, drums on stage - but again, in a masterfully understated way. Drums were very evident once again in Semis 2, but another trend also emerged: geeks are in. Several countries, notably Malta and Hungary, featured geeky boys - here is Hungary's ByeAlex with his entry "Kedvesem":

All Hungarians are this sexy. #eurovision
— Péter (@travelling_wolf) May 16, 2013

Finland caused a mini storm in a euro teacup with the lesbian kiss at the end of their cute song. Well done Krista Siegrids and the team behind "Marry Me":

So, the traditional wedding in #finland is planned by Katie Price? #Esc2013
— E Kristopher-Hartley (@efan78) May 16, 2013

YES!!! Lesbian kiss! Awesome!!! #eurovision #finland #teamdingdong
— Natha lina Rome u (@nathromeu) May 16, 2013

DING DONG #eurovision #finland
— Edward Clarke (@edwardclarke) May 16, 2013

Finland was actually the tamest of the off-beat entries - there were a few classics, not least Romania's Cezar with "It's My Life":

Huge multicoloured condoms on stage #Romania #eurovision
— Edward Clarke (@edwardclarke) May 16, 2013

wardobe

Bloke from Romania has blatantly been in my wardrobe.... #eurovision
— Rylan Ross Clark (@RylanClark) May 16, 2013

MINGE the Murderess :D RT @edwardclarke: @fluffyhoneybee It's Ming the Merciless!
— R 'Bee' Michael (@fluffyhoneybee) May 16, 2013

Overall, I was pleased Norway and Finland got through, but sad Israel and Macedonia didn't. But that's the semi's done and it's now full speed for the grand final on Saturday night.

In hotel bar, krista off Finland just walked in, still wearing a wedding dress! #dingdong
— Scott Mills (@scott_mills) May 16, 2013

GETTING MY EUROVISION SEMI ON.
— Dom (@DMCSTK) May 16, 2013

Happy New Year

Happy New Year!

Onwards and upwards: it's our annual chance to forget all the troubles of the past year, start anew and to dream big again. May it bring happiness to us all. It looks like it's going to bring the long-awaited Abba Museum to Stockholm, which is another reason to visit Sweden again (along with the Eurovision Song Contest in Malmö this May).

My new year was very mellow, as I didn't feel like venturing out of the warmth into rain-drenched London town to see the fireworks or do any parties. Instead I paid culinary tribute to my half-Polish origins by making a batch of placki kartoflane (pronounced PLAHTZ-kee kar-taw-FLAH-neh) and washing them down with Winter Pimms (this representing my English half). The pancakes were a huge treat when I was a child - I remember it was my dad's job to grate the onions; my mum would then mix the grated onion with grated potatoes, a tablespoon or so of flour, salt, pepper, and an egg or two and then fry the batter in a deepish slick of hot oil until the pancakes were crispy golden brown on the outside and meltingly soft inside. I think the grated vegetables allow more mixing with the fat and therefore possibly an even higher fat content than French Fries (the pancakes also take quite a lot of salt).

These days I drain them on kitchen paper before eating, and limit myself to one batch a year - usually in the winter when one needs a bit of mental and physical insulation.

I also pace myself - two medium-size baking potatoes' worth of placki go quite a long way, although they are very moreish. So the batter sits by a pan all evening - heating up the pan and frying a batch of three placki is the work of minutes (getting rid of the excess poundage from one's waistline will of course take months).

With friends and relatives spread out now across the globe, new year greetings, texts and calls started coming in at 2pm (Australia), followed by India, Zanzibar, South Africa, The Netherlands, and then finally Los Angeles. It was fun to feel the New Year wash over the globe like a gigantic wave. The world seems a lot smaller than when I was a child.

Now, of course, cities compete on YouTube for the best fireworks display - with Sydney and London being the most competitive. London's was extraordinary, if slightly spoilt by all those Tory voiceovers. New Year's fireworks as State propaganda. Oh well, at least it was over in 12 minutes!

And we have a winner!

Every year around this time the big stores compete for the best seasonal ad in the run-up to Christmas - M&S pioneered the genre a few years ago but this year they seem to have gone off track a bit with their Xfactor tribute. Most big stores' ads are annoyingly hard sell efforts draped vestigially in Christmas tinsel but John Lewis has scored a real triumph with its 2011 contender - soo sweet it makes me want to cry!

tweeting eurovision 2011

Definitely noticed a change in the twittosphere this year - partly I think inspired by the higher calibre of the entries: there were just no pratfalls. Remarkably, two new twitter communities moved big-time into tweeting Eurovision - the politicos (Ed Balls MP!! Ian Dale! etc) and the fashionistas (Bryanboy, Hilary Alexander). The comedians and writers were out in force too, and all the usual Eurovision fans and obsessives. Terry Wogan is still much missed; Graham Norton was noticeably restrained in his BBC commentary - in fact, playing it quite straight.


RealMattLucas: I can’t decide whether to watch Eurovision or hack off my foot.

wesstreeting: Seeing who is tweeting about #eurovision. And judging them.

OwenJones84@wesstreeting #gaysagainsteurovision

OwenJones84: Tough on Eurovision. Tough on the causes of Eurovision

HarryLangford: Eurovision is the first convincing argument that I have heard for leaving the EU. #Eurovision

diamondgeezer: The scariest outcome of Scottish independence would be three minutes of Susan Boyle

FreeSouthLondon: Entering #Eurovision is just one of many perks an independent South London would enjoy, but I’m more interested in our own nuclear deterrent


Hungary
What About My Dreams / Kati Wolf



bryanboy: WERQ!!!! WHAT ABOUT MY LIFE? WHAT ABOUT MY DREAAAAAAAMMZZZZZZZZZ

lowellkm: What about dancing? #bbceurovision

MatthewWells: Oooh. That’s an impressive ring. #hungary #eurovision

travelling_wolf: Skinniest girl in Hungary. #eurovision


Ireland
Lipstick / Jedward



maggiephilbin: Oh No still in pub - Jedward on screen but no sound WHAT AM I MISSING #eurovison

jackwallington: I never thought I’d say it, but Jedward just totally aced #Eurovision

benlocker: Eurovision. Wouldn’t work on radio.


Sweden
Popular / Eric Saade



owenblacker: OMG I SO COMPLETELY NEED ERIC SAADE BROUGHT TO ME RIGHT NOW #esc2011

ajscroxton: I’ll take all four. Thanks. #eurovision

MatthewWells: I'm calling it for Sweden #eurovision #winner

Greece
Watch My Dance / Loucas Yiorkas feat. Stereo Mike



MacPsych: Can we give Greece a musical bailout? #ESC2011

Russia
Get You / Alexej Vorobjov



Scaraboo: A jaunty song about stalking #Eurovision

jonathancobb: dubious sexual predator pop from Russia #eurovision

nok32uk: It was going to be called ‘Ooh Get You’ but that was considered too camp #bbceurovision #esc2011

France
Sognu / Amaury Vassili



technicalfault: “Comb” is now trending on Twitter in Europe #Eurovision

rjakesuk: Mr France has far far far too much hair #Eurovision

Markgatiss: Half-way through turning into a werewolf?

EvilGayTwin: France: boring but kinda hot. Are hot Men a requirement for Eurovision? #Eurovision

Italy
Madness of Love / Raffaele Gualazzi



EvilGayTwin: Italy was different. I take back my comment about hot men. #Eurovision

jamesmoran RT @jamesjammcmahon: Wogan, if you’re reading this, now is the time to buy a bottle of gin and set up a twitter account #eurovision

United Kingdom
I Can / Blue



jamesup: I can! I will!

idiaz: I can.. I will ... mute this song. #esc

JWhatX: I hope they don’t piss this song against the wall #eurovision

ajmy: What is with the Grindr pics in the background? #esc

MatthewWells: Glad to see Blue playing to their strengths #pecs

Soeno: Europe has vote for Blue solely on Simon Webb’s muscles alone. Hot hot hot. #eurovision

DavidAllenGreen: Bless, they’ve even got little blue suits on so we can remember their name. #eurovision

HilaryAlexander: Loving Blue’s tough tux look at Eurovision

DrSamuelJohnson: Oikish Mummers BLUE do perform dress’d for NAPOLEONS’s Retreat from Moscow #eurovision

travelling_wolf: Blue can’t. #eurovision

Moldova
So Lucky / Zdob și Zdub



pauljchambers: Speechless #eurovision #Moldova

lowellkm: FINALLY, A REAL #EUROVISION PERFORMANCE. #bbceurovision

robin_intheuk: OMG!! Beastie boys with bizarre pointy hats #eurovision *sniffs wine for possible sabotage*

SplashMan: Madonnas Bra #Eurovision

thisisdavid: There are NOT enough unicycles in #Eurovision #Moldova

interactivemark: HOW THE FUCK DO YOU NOT VOTE FOR MOLDOVIA?!?! Fetch me my phone boy... #eurovision



Germany
Taken By A Stranger / Lena



travelling_wolf: The feeds to Portugal, Ireland, Greece and Spain replace this song with a video of Angela Merkel talking about bail outs... #eurovision

Charles_HRH Calm down Harry. That isn’t Pippa. #eurovision

Ewan RT @willhowells: Seriously, Lena, don’t do a song about it, REPORT IT TO THE POLICE. #eurovision

stebax: Tainted Love without the good bits.

DavidAllenGreen: Damn, she has trousers on this year. #Germany #eurovision

thisisdavid: The dancing sperms are fun. #Germany #Eurovision

JGONeill: Oh, that Teutonic humour! *slaps lederhosen*

Romania
Change / Hotel FM



DavidAllenGreen: This country used to produce vampires. Now crooners. Progress? Hmmm. #Romania #eurovision

NickiePhilbin: #tgesc #eurovision Is this the right time to announce I once slept with a Eurovision entry that came last - in every respect :(

Austria
The Secret Is Love / Nadine Beiler



PaulBurston: She makes Leonna look edgy

timlusher: My boyfriend’s verdict on Austria: “witness protection hair”

travelling_wolf: After the original Austrian act was in a tragic sausage accent it is lucky that the hotel receptionist was up for it. #eurovision

acediscovery: I live in an austrian household. We’re block voting for austria #tgesc


Azerbaijan
Running Scared / Ell/Nikki



edballsmp: The set for Azerbaijan has echoes of ELO ‘Out of the Blue’ live show ...

PaulBurston: I’m reminded of Lulu and Jason Orange

travelling_wolf: We should remember when watching this that there is nowhere in Azerbaijan to record music then hear it back. #eurovision

MatthewWells: The Azerbajani boy needs to ditch the tranny in the wedding dress

thisisdavid: google maps has gone down due to people finding #Azerbaijan #Eurovision

mrchrisaddison: This is like an ad for the First Class Lounge on Virgin Atlantic. #Eurovision

orbyn: The lady from Azerbaijan could be a relatively successful Shakira lookalike #eurovision


Slovenia
No One /         Maja Keuc



PRDH: Fuck me! It’s Xena, Warrior Princess!!

JWhatX: I’m running out of adjectives ; is Slovenia good? #eurovision

BevaniteEllie Destabilising... ! RT @IainDale: @edballsmp OMG. You’re scoring it too? I thought I was alone #moreincommonwithedballsthanithought

Queen_UK Edward is beside himself. He has that very outfit. #eurovision

Leanne_Cee #Eurovision Sorry Slovenia, but I just don’t think leather thigh boots are practical in this heat

thoroughlygood: I wouldn’t mind trying on SLOVENIA’s singer’s bodice for myself. You know. For research purposes. #eurovision http://bit.ly/lOEhA0

TheBuddhaSmiled: Steel reinforcements needed to hold up those Slovenian tits. #Eurovision

LeeBinding: The Aguilera cloning program is a SUCESS! #Eurovision

Ewan: Slovenia. Let’s just say only 17 women on the planet can wear boots like this. Brassy Shirly Bassy esque Maja Keuc is 1 of them, #eurovision

Iceland
Coming Home / Sjonni's Friends



CllrTim: To think they used to arrive in longboats wielding axes, raping, pillaging.. Not sure if this may be worse.. #Eurovision #Iceland

ajscroxton: Too much comedy brass in Iceland #eurovision

JGONeill: hot gay action from the mumford and sons of reykjavik


Ukraine
Angel / Mika Newton



knitboy: My shoulders feel so bare after watching Ukraine - needs me some feathers #bbceurovision

jamesmoran: RT @jodiekearns: Sand painting is no unicycle. #eurovision

scottm: Get out of the way, dear, and let us see the artwork #Eurovision

maggiephilbin: RT @nickjbarlow If aliens landed in the middle of #Eurovision, would we notice? << only if they sang in tune

adventuresofboz: She is basically warbling in front of a screensaver, isn't she. #eurovision

Serbia
Čaroban / Nina



maleo: 60s-FABULOUS! They’ve been holding onto those dresses since we sent them over in ‘78 though...

edballsmp: Well well @iaindale - Serbia in a late dash for the line - good #Eurovision song

BevaniteEllie: Just laughed out loud! RT @tom_watson: I’ve temporarily unfollowed @edballsmp #Eurovision

MmeGuillotine: Did they even have the 60s in Serbia? #eurovision


Scoring


photo by hedgiecc

DavidAllenGreen: At the very doors of Hell, Beelzebub will undoubtedly say “let’s remind ourselves of the #Eurovision entries again”.

LeeBinding I’m horrified to look at my scoresheet and see #Jedward is my favourite. My world is falling off its axis.

owenblacker: Hey, finance guy at RTÉ. You hear that cheer for #Jedward in the auditorium there? Hahahahahahahahaha #esc2011

tomroyal: Hurrah! Am reliably informed that the one-wheeled drug gnomes were the best. Whoever the hell they were.

indiaknight: Lordy. #Moldova

orbyn: I’m going to vote. I’m going to fucking vote. I can vote, I’m an adult, I’ve had vodka. It’s fine #eurovision

jonwillchambers: Not a clue who’s going to win. Amazing voting coming up #eurovision

MacPsych: Denmark on top. Ph’narr... #ESC2011

LeeBinding: Come on Blue! Well, Duncan definitely. #Eurovision

Queen_UK: 2 points from Iceland. One is not knocking that off your bill. Get fishing. #eurovision

scottm: So Blue are currently 5th, which is where Jade Ewen finished. Expect Duncan to join the Sugababes any day now #eurovision

JGONeill@stevyncolgan yes olympics + diamond jubilee + eurovision = George Osborne found hanged in No 11

Syniq: THEY’RE BANKRUPT! THEY CAN’T AFFORD IT!!!! #eurovision #Jedward

AngryBritain: I can’t, I won’t, you know, we’ll lose #bbceurovision

travelling_wolf: Let’s hope four points from Greece is enough for Ms Merkel. #eurovision

Simmsey: The French. 1 point. Close the tunnel

ajscroxton: Don’t look so happy, Bosnia. Serbia’s only giving you 12 points because they want you back. #eurovision

bbceurovision: Ireland only gave Denmark 12 points because they have the same hair as Jedward...

Queen_UK: Your interest rate has just gone up by 200% Ireland. And one’s coming over next week to collect. #eurovision

travelling_wolf: At the end of this Jedward won’t be allowed to leave Germany for ‘financial reasons’ #eurovision

ajscroxton: I want Italy to get this so bad. Berlusconi to do the halftime show next year! #eurovision


The Winner - Azerbaijan
Running Scared / Ell/Nikki

photo by CharlesFred

squawkbox: I’m very pleased for Azerbaijan. They have tried so hard since entering a few years ago. #eurovision

manx_maid So next year Europe will extend to a mere 1000 miles or so from the Chinese border !! #eurovision

acediscovery: The only thing I liked about the azerbaijan song was that the video had cable cars in it #tgesc

owenblacker: Sweet Jesus, put the big glass trophy down, pretty Azeri boy! #esc2011

jackyrabbit: Ok actually seeing them fight for that trophy while singing made it all better #eurovision



ajscroxton Time to continue my annual tradition of listening to Katrina and the Waves at this point #eurovision

FAULTYCAPSLOCK: The Reptiles fixed Eurovision.



All photos © Pieter Van den Berghe (EBU) except where otherwise stated.

Eurovision: The 2011 Final

.
So, most of Europe reached for their atlases last night - where exactly is Azerbaijan again? That’s right, next year Europe will extend to within 1000 miles of China, and only a hop away from Iran!

Sundip: More people from within the Europe Union voted for the winning Azerbaijan group than for the President of the EU! #Awkward

Apart from worries over the state of hotels and gay rights in Azerbaijan, the European television companies will no doubt sigh with relief - Azerbaijan is one of the few countries rich enough to stage the competition in the current economic climate, and they are absolutely desperate to do so. Should be mega - expect something to rival Moscow in 2008.

Seriously, Azerbaijan deserves big congratulations for their winning song “Running Scared”, sung beautifully by Ell & Nikki, who had such great performance chemistry. It was also highly amusing watching them fight over who got to hold the trophy in close-up while singing their reprise.

I really should have placed a bet, shouldn’t I? - A first or top three for both Azerbaijan and Sweden would have been the ticket. The joker in the pack was Italy - coming up from absolutely nowhere (and against everyone’s expectations for a sophisticated jazz number) to finish second.

Poor Blue finished 11th, and behind Jedward too - so a pretty miserable finish for the UK, albeit vastly better than the ‘nul points’ we are used to from previous years.

My head is still buzzing, but here are a few initial conclusions:

1) The bookies can get it so wrong! - France was a massive favourite for months during the build-up, only to disappear in the voting. Poor Amaury Vassili must have been devastated.

2) Opera and show tunes do not work. Not for Amaury Vassili, nor for Norway last year, or the disco-fied opera Sweden did the year before that. The UK did best in this genre in recent years with Jade Ewan’s Andrew Lloyd Webber number, which finished 5th.

3) Despite Eurovision having a huge gay signature, Gay Anthems paradoxically don’t work either. Sweden never had success with their past entries in this genre; Iceland got nowhere last year; Malta didn’t even qualify this year; and Hungary - a really storming anthem and another bookies’ favourite to boot - finished well down the header board this year.

4) What does work? - Good-looking cute boys have won very frequently in recent years, but the song has to appeal too. Josh Dubovie was cute, but his song was awful. And Jedward’s talents were flattered by an excellent pop tune and hugely sophisticated production.

5) Is Eurovision getting boring? A twitter friend expressed regret this year twitter lacked the bright banter of previous years. He suggested it was because there were so many more people tweeting now that the wittiest gems get lost in the electronic blizzard. There may be something in this; I think however it is also the case that the competition is evolving and the Eastern European countries are all now capable of producing respectable attempts - there was a total lack of unintentionally funny acts this year (cf Armenia & Ukraine a few years back). The ‘funny’ acts were all knowingly, calculatedly funny - Moldova just as much as Ireland (both the UK’s highest scoring countries).

Tweets, yes, I have to say there were fewer that caught my eye, so I don’t know if I will continue my tradition of tweet digests next year.

6) Where to now for the UK? The poor BBC must be at its wits end. Maybe do an Italy and take a break for decade or two?

Eurovision 2011: My Favourites and Picks

The running order for tonight:

1. Finland

2. Bosnia & Herzegovina

3. Denmark

4. Lithuania

 5. Hungary

6. Ireland

7. Sweden

8. Estonia

9. Greece

10. Russia

11. France

12. Italy

13. Switzerland

14. United Kingdom

15. Moldova 

16. Germany

17. Romania

18. Austria

19. Azerbaijan

20. Slovenia

21. Iceland

22. Spain

23. Ukraine

24. Serbia

25. Georgia

I will be waving the flag for Blue tonight, but they do have stiff competition and this is Eurovision, so anything could happen!


Blue is the first UK entry for very many years that I wholeheartedly feel has a chance. The band has also been working the build up in very professional manner. Win or lose I hope they do well out of it.


My big worry is Eric Saade from Sweden. A part of me really hates this, as Sweden had a much more adventurous and better song last year: they’ve just been utterly cynical this year, giving the punters a bit of what they want! Eric is handsome and engaging and will no doubt win over many many fans. Another Aleksander Ryback?


My favourite song of the whole competition is What About My Dreams, sung by Kati Wolf for Hungary. Unfortunately, Kati’s performance on thursday was somewhere below her best, and unless she can rise to the occasion tonight I doubt she will win. I’ll be thrilled if she does, though.


Jedward are amazing! It will be a laugh if they win with Lipstick for Ireland, and much of Europe may feel the same on the night. This strategy certainly worked for Lordy.


Alexei Vorobiov from Russia was also an early favourite of mine with Get You (his song about Gypsy grabbing), but the buzz seems to be fading away around his act. Can Russia do it again?


The big five are really mounting a strong fight back: Amaury Vassili from France has got an amazing tenor voice matched with amazing looks and seems to have taken Europe by storm. He’s been the bookies’ top favourite from the beginning and could easily storm away with the prize with Sognu.


Azerbaijan’s Ell & Nikki impressed strongly with their live performance of Running Scared on Thursday. Azerbaijan always seem to be bookies’ favourites and this could be their lucky year.


A special mention for Lena with Taken by a Stranger - I don’t think Germany expect to win twice running with the same artist (and I would be hugely surprised) but this is a lovely, haunting song and the video is gorgeous - huge plaudits to Lena and Germany.
Well, Good Luck UK’s Blue! Only a short wait until we find out.

Eurovision 2011 Semi-Final #2

So, last night was the second Eurovision semi-final in Dusseldorf!

squawkbox: *dashes back to flat for #eurovision semi final 2*

squawkbox: Fanfare! Eurovision semi final 2 has started #eurovision

HotLabour: If France wins, I'm switching back to freedom fries. #Eurovision #ESC11.

JayRow: Oh Christ, 30 seconds in and I think the Irony App on my iPhone just crashed.... #eurovision

nickminers: Dammit you’re all watching #eurovision instead of looking at my lovely photos http://bit.ly/lqmBVu

mrchockabloke: I've watched the Eurovision semi-finals. Prefer to save myself for the full horror that is the final.

The ten lucky countries going through to the grand final tomorrow are:

Bosnia & Herzegovina

Denmark

Ireland

Sweden

Estonia

Moldova

Romania

Austria

Slovenia

Ukraine


As usual, I’ve compiled a taster of tweets from the evening. One of my favourite tweeters, thoroughlygood, was strangely absent from my twitter stream. I discovered later this was because he was actually in Dusseldorf Stadium! He provided a great audioboo which captures the highly-charged stadium atmosphere:



The evening was the story of two sets of twins. Unfortunately, Eurovision couldn’t ultimately handle both pairs and the lovely Twiins from Slovakia had to leave the competition. Jedward from Ireland, however, stormed through to the finals with one of their best performances ever. Both pairs inspired huge numbers of tweets from their admirers and detractors, and Jedward’s haircuts proved strangely trend-setting amongst the contestants.

edwardclarke: Belgium is very distinctive. That's a plus #eurovision

handbagpets: @edwardclarke that is possibly...the only plus?


edwardclarke: ooh gorgeous legs, Slovakia #eurovision

nok32uk: Two mini-Geri Halliwells dipped in gold #eurovision #esc2011

ScotDale: The Slovakian Twins really are identical! #Eurovision.

feggie: Go Twiins. The slovakian Jedward but more fuckable. Audience like them, me too. #Eurovision

vikkiharris1976: #EuroVision (Slovakia) Ha Ha! Not trying to sell sex at all! Certainly aint there for their vocal talents! #BitchyMe

Zipacna_42: OOh! it's the other twins! The attractive #Slovak ones! #Eurovision


korearian: MOLDOVA HAVE GNOME HATS. EVERY OTHER ENTRANT IS IRRELEVANT. #eurovision

CornishCalzone: Moldova = the motherfucking best #eurovision

scattermoon: Moldova: it's like the Smurfs on acid #eurovision (and it's awesome!)


squawkbox: POPULAR #eurovision

HotLabour: Saade on my face and tell me that you love me. #Eurovision #ESC

owenblacker: I'll have two, thanks, delivered to my room. Don't bother gift-wrapping #Sweden #esc2011 #bbceurovision

owenblacker: I think, performing in front of most of the gay men of the Western world on Saturday, you will indeed be popular #esc2011 #bbceurovision

robitito: By far the best so far. #Sweden #eurovision And they've got a key change.

owenblacker: O HAI! #Cyprus #esc2011 #bbceurovision

Soeno: I'll have the one in the rear! So to speak #Cyprus #bbceurovision


ms_cornwall: OMG the outfit is a killer #ESC #Slovenia

PRDH: This woman is the spiritual successor to the slutty Roman soldiers that the Ukraine had last year. #eurovision

gooneruk: Good BOOTS from Slovenia #eurovision

owenblacker: Instant favourite RT @lordofmisrule: It's alright, I know how defeat her. Does anyone have any stairs? #eurovision

grwndi: Oh how clever! They've kept all the Stupid Hairstyle Acts until the end. #bbceurovision


SequinedShoes: i want #jedward hair. badly. #bbceurovision.

Dr_PaulC: Lead singer of Demark looks like a rather fit version of Jedward grr! #bbceurovision

prlivesey: Jedward should sue for haircut copyright violations. #bbceurovision #denmark

ScoobyDoofus: Considering they're twins, Jedward are REALLY out of sync with each other! #eurovision

LandersIE Hunter: So after months of rehearsal #Jedward are STILL out of time and tune. #Eurovision

fechtech: FANTASTIC performace JEDWARD! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! #bbceurovision

Daniel_Penfold: It's a real talent to not be in time with the beat, your twin or yourself #jedward #bbceurovision

memyselfandjohn: #bbceurovision proof Europe has no musical taste, as the wrong twiins go through!!

johnmanthorpe: I don't know what to do now it's over? Puff. Wrestle a giraffe? #bbceurovision #eurovision

Eurovision 2011 Semi-Final #1

.photo © Alain Douit (EBU)

And the competition has begun! Tonight saw ten countries proceed to the finals, and the hopes and dreams of another nine dashed. Amongst them was the wonderful Stella Mwangi of Norway with Haba Haba - such a pity.

My favourite, a rather nervous Kati Wolf for Hungary with What About My Dreams wasn’t up to her peak vocally but looked amazing in an asymmetrical turquoise mini, and more importantly got through. Alexey Vorobiof from Russia also made the cut. My guilty pleasure Turkey dropped, as did Armenia (a stunning effort). This means the large diaspora vote for both countries will not affect the final unduly.

Azerbaijan as ever had a very popular number. It grew on me in performance - this might actually be a contender. Unless Kati finds her voice sadly I doubt she can win, as storming a tune as What About My Dreams is. And of course the UK holds thumbs for our brave boys Blue with I Can (as one of the big five we are automatically in the final)

And the winners are:

Serbia
Lithuania
Greece
Azerbaijan
Georgia
Switzerland
Hungary
Finland
Russia
Iceland

These tweets caught my eye:

Ewan Tonight's Eurovision drinking game is simple (as always). Drink on a pyrotechnic effect (warning, Azerbaijan might kill you)

Con_Dem_Nation why are people watching eurovision when they don't have to?

MrLondonStreet Surely it's crazy that you can vote in #eurovision before you've heard all the songs? Anyone would think people choose on nationality alone.

HotLabour It's no single ladies is it?

squawkbox No number of flames will help her! *drinks Irn Bru* #eurovision

MrLondonStreet This Armenian entry is quite spellbindingly dreadful. Exactly what Eurovision should be about. #eurovision

Daaniellle Turkey, ever heard of a band called The Darkness? #eurovison #turkey

miketd Would I enjoy Eurovision more if I got very very drunk, very very quickly? Desperate times call for desperate measures...

taylorjauk #Eurovison San Marino is this a real country???

KathrineHoegh #eurovision semifinals. The only think worse than the #eurovison finals.

bryanboy BF on Croatia: "I'm suffering!!"

thoroughlygood Look. At the size. Of. That. Rock. #Eurovision #esc2011 #Hungary

nickminers Uh oh. There's a program on the telly that I don't like but loads of people are Tweeting about it.

benlocker Portugal has gone mad. #eurovision

MrLondonStreet Oh dear, Finland. James Blunt meets Zak Goldsmith (and it's even more horrendous than that description suggests). #eurovision

Con_Dem_Nation Does anyone know how much is spent on Eurovision and what the financial benefit of it is? There's a saving right there!

thoroughlygood Somebody's welding. #Azerbaijan

MrDuncanJames So far loving hungry and Azerbaijan and they both got the biggest cheers here in dusseldorf stadium!

stebax Shit. Missing some stellar badness from Portugal in Eurovision! I'm hearing great things about them

Celiaka What's up with all the dresses this evening? They only have one sleeve. Austerity measures? #eurovison

squawkbox I'm in love with CHEW #armenia #eurovision

Bluesilvahalo YAY! #Azerbaijan is trending! I know a good crap eurovision song when I hear it!!

Microphonunlock Norway goodbye ... Europe sucks!!

redexile These are the *top* ten finalists? #eurovision

tiza_ GO BLUE!!! #eurovison

Twitter exploded with hard-core Eurovision tweeting. However, there was some stiff competition, as this tweet attests:

Jason_Cobb #apprentice reminds me that capitalism isn't working, Comrades.

I dare to hope again

UK Eurovision fans are a hardy lot used to disappointment (much like all UK sports fans). However last year’s crash-and-burn entry was so catastrophic (thanks Pete Waterman) I was scared to take any interest this year. I heard the Beeb decided in its wisdom not to have any sort of competition or build-up, and sub-contracted the gig to boy-band Blue. Whatevs.

So I was a bit surprised to see Blue’s song “I Can” mentioned warmly in internet posts - seems there is a bit of a Euro buzz about it. Whisper it - we are something of a favourite to win! Cripes!

The video indeed shows promise:



I really like the way they’ve found a way to do “London” in a novel and imaginative, yet understated way. The song itself is catchy and poppy, not too dated in sound and all-round a respectable contender. I quite like it. The flame of hope reignites in one’s heart! I’ll now have to scope out the competition.

Shock

Watching Channel 4's Dispatches: Britain's Secret Fat Cats while blogging. I read and was very impressed by Naomi Klein's No Logo; however I missed out on her next book The Shock Doctrine when it came out. It seems to be cited more and more frequently these days though so I ordered it in from Amazon.

Basically, it appears to be Cameron and Clegg's playbook (with truly staggering amounts of Blairesque mendacity and spin of their own on top). Dispatches is showing, quite methodically and clearly, how government cuts will force privatisations which will enrich a very few at the expense of decent public services for all. One could perhaps argue that Reagan and Thatcher had genuine hopes of their "free-market" ideology actually working. However, 30 years later, after an economic apocalypse brought about by the very deregulation Thatcher and Reagan initiated, with middle and lower-class incomes over that time stagnating and even retreating while the top 1% soars exponentially ever higher, imposing the same policies without an explicit mandate is crassly stupid, if not criminal.

"A more accurate term for a system that erases the boundaries between Big Government and Big Business is not liberal, conservative or capitalist but corporatist. Its main characteristics are huge transfers of public wealth to private hands, often accompanied by exploding debt, an ever-widening chasm between the dazzling rich and the disposable poor and an aggressive nationalism that justifies bottomless spending on security. For those inside the bubble of extreme wealth created by such an arrangement, there can be no more profitable way to organize a society. But because of the obvious drawbacks for the vast majority of the population left outside the bubble, other features of the corporatist state tend to include aggressive surveillance (once again, with government and large corporations trading favors and contracts), mass incarceration, shrinking civil liberties and often, though not always, torture.

From Chile to China to Iraq, torture has been a silent partner in the global free-market crusade. But torture is more than a tool used to enforce unwanted policies on rebellious peoples; it is also a metaphor of the shock doctrine's underlying logic."

- Naomi Klein, The Shock Doctrine, 2007

Hup Holland Hup!

Well, today is the World Cup Final! Whoever wins, it's been a superb win for South Africa and indeed the continent. The overwhelming majority of news out of the continent up to now has been sad - poverty, famine, bad governance - but there always has been another side that the developed world has been slow to appreciate: the magnificent fortitude, ingenuity, persistence and warmth of its people. And these days Africa is taking off economically and politically. South Africa indeed with its excellent regulation regime escaped the financial meltdown that has struck Europe and North America. Thabo Mbeki hoped for an African Renaissance and it looks as though it's starting to happen. This hugely successful World Cup tournament finishing in South Africa today is an indication that Africa is indeed on its way. For the first time is what seems like forever, the entire world is focused on a happy, joyful event which has been staged and managed superbly well. Having grown up there, I know what a massive jolt of confidence and pride this is giving all South Africans and I am very happy about that.

I'm going to be supporting Holland in the finals today - I think it would be a pleasing result regarding Holland's lengthy relationship with South Africa, and Holland has never won before (neither has Spain, though).



Last week I watched the semi finals in a pub in Soho with my flickr friend Charles Roffey. De Hems just off London's Chinatown is the official Dutch pub in London - and has been for over a hundred years! One always learns something new about London. The pub was mobbed by huge crowds of thrilled Dutch supporters. Charles was interviewed by Winkball.

Wishing all those Dutch supporters the thrill of a lifetime this afternoon!

Eurovision - The Finals, Oslo 2010

Last night’s Eurovision Final in Oslo was a great success and huge fun. I was thrilled that Germany won - a really encouraging result, showing the big four are still capable of winning if they have a good song (and also encouraging because it was a good song - we’re not being overwhelmed by shlock).

Here is my digest of best bits and tweets.

diamondgeezer Eurovision only takes up 0.09% of a year. It feels so much longer.

edwardclarkeWoo hoo! We're live in Oslo! #esc #eurovision

charltonbrooker Is it me or does the slight echo on Norton's voice make it sound like he's narrating from beyond the grave? #eurovision

efan78 Did Graham just say "Euro-Camp", is there any other type? #eurovision

guy_interruptd OH MY FUCKING GOD! MY ENTIRE TWITTER STREAM HAS BEEN TAKEN OVER BY FUCKING EUROVISION!

1         Azerbaijan
        Safura
        Drip Drop




wolfstar_de Azerbaijan's entry is a cheapo Beyonce/Alicia Keys/Leona power-ballad clone in 3/4, except without the charisma. It's dull as ditchwater.

edwardclarke ForeVAAAAH #Azerbaijan #esc #eurovision

thoroughlygood@edwardclarke Stop that. Stop that now.

2         Spain
        Daniel Diges
        Algo Pequeñito (Something Tiny)




Popjustice Something tiny in the number two slot reminds me of (NO THANKS - ED)

LeeBinding It's the Nutcracker... on crack. #eurovision

roryjmaxwell Leo Sayer, a Soprano and a toy soldier on acid. Spain at #eurovision

3         Norway
        Didrik Solli-Tangen
        My Heart Is Yours

LeeBinding He's flatter than Kate Moss's tits. #norway #eurovision

4         Moldova
        Sunstroke Project & Olia Tira
        Run Away




indiaknight Hoo, saxophonist sexytime.

edwardclarke This saxophonist is obscene on all sorts of levels. Just wrong

5         Cyprus
        Jon Lilygreen & The Islanders
        Life Looks Better In Spring

NickArchuleta Cyprus is way too English sounding :( #ESC

6         Bosnia & Herzegovina
        Vukašin Brajić
        Thunder And Lightning

travelling_wolf Bosnia and Herzegovina, I'd snog you drunkenly on the stairs at a party and regret it in the morning. #eurovision

7         Belgium
        Tom Dice
        Me And My Guitar

indiaknight Allez les Belges! #eurovision

SamStreet69 Belgium’s answer to James Blunt ... As if one Blunt wasn't enough! #eurovision

efan78 Will someone please turn the wind machine on and get this whiny bloke off the stage please? #eurovision

8         Serbia
        Milan Stanković
        Ovo Je Balkan




owenblacker RT @spaceboy: OMG years of authoriarian nationalism has produced the uber gay in Serbia! The gay to end all gays, indeed the end of gays.

LeeBinding Dance! Dance like your passport depends upon it! #eurovision

9         Belarus
        3+2
        Butterflies




charltonbrooker "We're like butterflies, flying to the sun". What, putting in a lot of effort to no avail?

10         Ireland
        Niamh Kavanagh
        It's For You

thoroughlygood NDN: "She's got Bridget Jones knickers on under that, I'm telling you." #eurovision #ireland. We're asking the neighbour to leave now.

11         Greece
        Giorgos Alkaios & Friends
        OPA



Soeno RT @ScoobyDoofus: Does the term "Greek entry" make anyone else giggle? #eurovision

LeeBinding Typical Greek man, bragging. 'Whopper!' #eurovision

12         United Kingdom
        Josh Dubovie
        That Sounds Good To Me




gabexmosh I love how the UK's stage choreography has the dude ignoring the girls, while the male dancers ogle him. #wyldhomo #ESC

ScoobyDoofus Cheesier than a cheese sandwich with cheese flavoured bread. #UK #eurovision

Killdozer For you UK, ze Eurovision iz over #eurovision #esc

delrico to quote my mate Chris: "It costs us millions and we have no hope of winning. It's like a musical Afghanistan." #eurovision

projblogsphere "DO NOT CALL FOR THE UK" ... No, seriously... do not vote for #UK. #Bad #ESC

acabelt RT @McRoell: You have been Rick-Rolled #ESC #UK

nminers Aaaargh my ears!!! #uk #eurovision

charltonbrooker This from the nation that brought you The Kinks

thoroughlygood Next year, the #uk should just have someone stand on stage in silence for 3 minutes. #eurovision

dutchtea slecht UK 0 POINTS #ESC

13         Georgia
        Sofia Nizharadze
        Shine

edwardclarke Norton: "No one got hurt - that's the main thing " #Georgia #esc #eurovision

14         Turkey
        maNga
        We Could Be The Same

efan78 Ah, Bondage Cyberwomen and Linkin' Park's bastard love children, what more could you want? #eurovision

15         Albania
        Juliana Pasha
        It's All About You

arlloyd Albania 9/10 #eurovision http://bit.ly/Vxkgm (although it could also be BBC Newsreader does Goldfrapp for Children in Need)

16         Iceland
        Hera Björk
        Je Ne Sais Quoi




zatytom Oh Iceland, frumpy valkyrie awesomeness. #esc

LandersIE Is she wearing the after show party marquee? #Eurovision

17         Ukraine
        Alyosha
        Sweet People

benlocker Ukraine does Noir Desir crossed with Joanna Lumley. Well odd. #eurovision

Queen_UK Oh dear. Ukraine clearly has deepset social problems.

nok32uk #eurovision Sweet people? Sweet Jesus!! #esc #ukraine

18         France
        Jessy Matador
        Allez Olla Olé



travelling_wolf French have, quite sensibly, moved away from the vote losing Edith Piaf model this time. #eurovision

owenblacker Damn them! RT @Ewan: They've had to "family riendly" the French dance and outfits #eurovision

indiaknight Jessy Matador is a brilliant name.

19         Romania
        Paula Seling & Ovi
        Playing With Fire


thoroughlygood: Significant Other on #romania's female singer: 'Don't flirt with him. He's disgusting.' #eurovision #romania #esc


20         Russia
        Peter Nalitch & Friends
        Lost And Forgotten

benlocker Russia changes gears, not keys. #eurovision

21         Armenia
        Eva Rivas
        Apricot Stone



owenblacker Armenia: Bloody wacky song, and a disappointing lack of hot Armenian boys on stage, but Im' quite liking this #eurovision

squawkbox That top is a bit tight, isn't it? #armenia #eurovision

roryjmaxwell "Apricot stone hidden in my hand"? She assumes that her tits have rendered you senseless - the lyrics are just random shit. #eurovision

charlotteyoung: ... I can quite confidently say that this is the best song about Apricot stones I've ever heard. Seriously. #eurovision

zatytom I'm properly loving this apricot madness. #esc


22         Germany
        Lena
        Satellite

benlocker German girl dances like she's desperate for the loo. Wish they'd fielded Max Raabe. #eurovision

travelling_wolf: What accent is she singing with? Is she a German cockney? #eurovision

MayorWatch Am impressed, German act well into her song and no-one on Twitter seems to have mentioned the war. Must be a record.

23         Portugal
        Filipa Azevedo
        Há Dias Assim



GuyAitchison The Portugese entry seems to be singing in Portugese. What's that about? #eurovision

pembdave Portugal... Take a hint... #eurovision

24         Israel
        Harel Skaat
        Milim

ajscroxton Theoretically, and given Ireland sent the 1993 winner, could Israel send Dana International again? This needs to happen. #eurovision

25         Denmark
        Chanée & N'evergreen
        In A Moment Like This

jenblower aaaw, The Police + ABBA + Key change = Denmark! #eurovision

26         Spain (again)

thoroughlygood OH WOW. #spain gets to perform again because of that stage invasion. Good show. Nice. Great for us anoraks. #eurovision.

edwardclarke What? Why punish all of us when only one person ran on stage? #esc

guy_interruptd ROFL! I do love you, Mike! RT @LondonVoiceover: Sing twice if you like. But the phrase "snowball's chance in hell" comes to mind

leebinding I'm marking Spain down because the stage invaded actually added to it. #eurovision

Interval Act
        MadCon
        Glow



jackwallington Eurovision Flashmob!! YES!!

Leanne_Cee #Eurovision Dancing scenes in private houses all over Europe. Amazing how they bring it together

bbceurovision Best interval act since Riverdance, in my humble opinion!

RedMummy Am loving live webcams on #eurovision. Not sure whether to call RSPCA or NSPCC first.

jackwallington Everyone else amazing. UK just lifts up some drunk people. We are SHIT.

Voting & Winner



Cardiff_Blogger We're in the top half! Finish now! #Eurovision

jonemo Congrats to the UK who did much better than expected (and well better than their 10year average) in the #esc!

wolfstar_de Germany winning Eurovision? That's about as likely as a Conservative-LibDem coalition. Oh fuck.

Eurobin Lena wins for Germany with a Lily Allen / Kate Nash type of song that the UK should have been doing - UK missed the boat #eurovision #esc

pauljchambers We finished last??? It's all the coalition's fault #eurovision

Queen_UK Be thankful society frowns on capital punishment, Mr Waterman. Be very thankful.

ajscroxton Listening to Katrina and the Waves. Happy days of 1997. No Eurovision wins under the Tories.

leebinding There. I'm done. Thank you kindly for listening, darlings. I'm off to crawl further into a bottle of gin for the rest of the night.