David Schneider’s tweet said it all:
In the last couple of years, the BBC has pursued a policy of getting major stars to write the song, and letting the public vote on who the performer is. It’s actually quite patronising, as it implies the public can’t recognise a good song when they hear it - our overlords at the BBC have to choose the ‘great’ song for us, and us plebs get to choose the pretty face who sings it.
Last year’s entry by Andrew Lloyd Webber sung by Jade Ewan seemed to justify this approach, with the UK getting its highest placing for years in Moscow.
But last night showed the downside - Pete Waterman was huge in his day but that day is not today (and frankly, does he really have the name recognition of Lloyd Webber in Euroland anyway?) Unfortunately both the song and its musical arrangement sound like they were B-side rejects for some Stock Aiken and Waterman act back in the late 80s. I truly feel sorry for Josh Dubovie, the talented 19-year old who has to perform it in Oslo.
It would be great if the BBC could recognise its mistake and drop the song, but that isn’t going to happen. What they need to do to mitigate damage is the following:
1) Let some hip musical maestro loose on the arrangement to make it more credible (calling you, Mark Ronson).
2) Work on Josh’s delivery - he’s a good singer and a truly innovative attack on the vocalisation of this tune might make a difference.
3) Teach Josh to dance - or failing that, even move gracefully. It’s his weak spot.
4) Josh is an appealing chap with a great smile. They have to get that microphone out of his face.
They have to capitalise on Josh as far as they are able and blatantly pander to the teenybopper Euro girl demographic because he’s the best thing about the UK entry, and might possibly save us from total annihilation.
But total annihilation is what I predict.