Friday, December 31, 2010

New Year's Eve


Ring out, wild bells, to the wild sky,
        The flying cloud, the frosty light:
        The year is dying in the night;
Ring out, wild bells, and let him die.

Ring out the old, ring in the new,
        Ring, happy bells, across the snow:
        The year is going, let him go;
Ring out the false, ring in the true.

Ring out the grief that saps the mind,
        For those that here we see no more;
        Ring out the feud of rich and poor,
Ring in redress to all mankind.

Ring out a slowly dying cause,
        And ancient forms of party strife;
        Ring in the nobler modes of life,
With sweeter manners, purer laws.

Ring out the want, the care, the sin,
        The faithless coldness of the times;
        Ring out, ring out my mournful rhymes,
But ring the fuller minstrel in.

Ring out false pride in place and blood,
        The civic slander and the spite;
        Ring in the love of truth and right,
Ring in the common love of good.

Ring out old shapes of foul disease;
        Ring out the narrowing lust of gold;
        Ring out the thousand wars of old,
Ring in the thousand years of peace.

Ring in the valiant man and free,
        The larger heart, the kindlier hand;
        Ring out the darkness of the land,
Ring in the Christ that is to be.

        ~ from In Memoriam, Alfred Tennyson (1809-1892)

Sunday, October 31, 2010


Monday, October 11, 2010

I've been away

... but I'm back now. Heavens lots has been happening over the last few months! A quick catch of breath and then onwards to Christmas!

Thursday, July 29, 2010

London Stone


Like a child outgrowing its toys, London has its very own transitional object: the London Stone. The city has clung onto this object for so long it has forgotten why it was important in the first place: fertile ground for urban legends to flourish.

“Already a subject of speculation in the 16th century, subsequently identified in turn as a Roman milestone, as a Druid monument, as the ‘Stone of Brutus’ and as ‘London’s original fetish stone’, it is now considered by some to play an essential role in the ‘sacred geometry’ of London. How have such diverse opinions as to its purpose arisen? – and can we truly identify its date and its original function?”

Apparently it’s on very important ley lines; it may have been part of an ancient megalith circle; it is reputedly the fountain of authority in the city; it protects the city from harm. And it is does all this from a frankly grim spot on Cannon Street across from the station - housed in a dirty little wrought-iron shrine at ankle height, built into the side of a shortly-to-be redeveloped shop. Sad and crumbling and no different to any other lump of stone you’ve ever come across.

It’s documented way back (mentioned by Shakespeare, no less), and according to John Clark (the former Senior Curator (Medieval) at the Museum of London) was sited in a very interesting location in the geographies of both Roman and Anglo-Saxon London. However, the Enlightenment in its arrogance moved it (all?) out to the side of the road and the Victorians bricked it up in the side of a church. Oh, and completely removed all archeological trace of its original site when Cannon Street was cut-and-covered for the Circle Line.

So there it is. A London mystery.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

A cucumber grows in Clapham

..................................A tomato too . . .

..................................Farmer Ed for the win!

Monday, July 26, 2010


<<spoiler alert>>
Inception brilliantly marries the folded Russian doll structure of David Mitchell’s Cloud Atlas with the surreal CGI of The Matrix, with all the ravishing visual aesthetics of House of Flying Daggers thrown in as a bonus. It is very ingenious and very thrilling to watch, and fully deserves all the acclaim it has received.

Leonardo Di Caprio’s Dom Cobb and his merry band invade the dreams of corporate chief Robert Fischer (Cillian Murphy) in order to implant an idea beneficial to the corporation’s competitors. However, it becomes clear the young victim has had training in repelling this kind of invasion and his subconsciousness throws up defences against the attackers.

In order to reach their goal they have to go deeper – to a dream world within a dream world within a dream world. Of course they are up against obstacles and deadlines in all three worlds simultaneously, making for an exceptionally action-packed ride.

My slight quibble here though is the uni-dimensional nature of the defenders – they essentially do the same thing on all three levels (so why have levels?) – and have a severe case of baddy-bad-aim-itis (excepting one lucky hit at the beginning). Fleshing out the interior psychological landscape of Fisher – something hinted at but never ultimately deeply explored - may have made for an even more entertaining and surprising journey.

It transpires the emotionally damaged Cobb brings the subconscious projection of his deceased wife Mal with him and she becomes the film’s real and major threat – chillingly played by Marion Cotillard. (The acting throughout is superb but to be honest none of the roles is a real stretch for actors of this ability.)

Christopher Nolan superbly and quite originally uses the conventions of film-making – a scene cut for example – as a metaphor for a dream state. This allows him a bravura ending: superficially quiet and unwinding, it subtly increases tension and threat until one is left hanging, breathlessly, on the very last frame.

Monday, July 12, 2010


Went to see Eclipse the movie on eclipse the night (go figure - it's New Moon as well) with Emma.

Taylor Lautner is a shoo-in for the Oscar for Best Torso in a Motion Picture. That is all.

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Hup Holland Hup!

Well, today is the World Cup Final! Whoever wins, it's been a superb win for South Africa and indeed the continent. The overwhelming majority of news out of the continent up to now has been sad - poverty, famine, bad governance - but there always has been another side that the developed world has been slow to appreciate: the magnificent fortitude, ingenuity, persistence and warmth of its people. And these days Africa is taking off economically and politically. South Africa indeed with its excellent regulation regime escaped the financial meltdown that has struck Europe and North America. Thabo Mbeki hoped for an African Renaissance and it looks as though it's starting to happen. This hugely successful World Cup tournament finishing in South Africa today is an indication that Africa is indeed on its way. For the first time is what seems like forever, the entire world is focused on a happy, joyful event which has been staged and managed superbly well. Having grown up there, I know what a massive jolt of confidence and pride this is giving all South Africans and I am very happy about that.

I'm going to be supporting Holland in the finals today - I think it would be a pleasing result regarding Holland's lengthy relationship with South Africa, and Holland has never won before (neither has Spain, though).

Last week I watched the semi finals in a pub in Soho with my flickr friend Charles Roffey. De Hems just off London's Chinatown is the official Dutch pub in London - and has been for over a hundred years! One always learns something new about London. The pub was mobbed by huge crowds of thrilled Dutch supporters. Charles was interviewed by Winkball.

Wishing all those Dutch supporters the thrill of a lifetime this afternoon!

Saturday, July 10, 2010

Britain is not a passively accepting country

Still obsessing over the direction we are heading in economically - looks like we're heading for a perfect storm in a couple of years' time! I intend to periodically track our progress or otherwise to economic Armageddon. First up, this quote I spotted the other day from Prof Greg Philo:

"The slash and burn economics which we are now being offered will depress economic growth, since much of the stimulus for private enterprise comes from public spending. The public is likely to reject the cuts because they believe our problems result from the misdeeds of a wealthy minority. There is no political capital in asking the bottom half of the population which has only nine per cent of the wealth to pick up the bill through lost jobs and regressive taxation. Britain is not a passively accepting country; when in the past government policies have been seen as profoundly unjust, they have provoked social agitation. If this happens, the markets will be depressed even more and we move further down the economic spiral that the coalition with little mandate and less economic sense is now producing.

The UK has £5,500 billion of private wealth agglomerated in the top 20 per cent of the population, much of it in inflated property values making it effectively dead money. A far better way of tackling the deficit would be a radical tax on property, which would re-cycle some of this wealth back into the productive sector via government spending" - Prof Greg Philo, Glasow University Media Group, in the Evening Standard 6 July 2010(not on their website)

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

And it's all over


Yep the England team have just arrived home, sneaking into Heathrow terminal 5, earlier than expected. Some Mars bars are suddenly beyond their sell-by date.

Yes I'm a sucker for hype and advertising! I bought my Mars bar before Sunday though - couldn't bear the thought of buying one after the defeat at Germany's hands.

But on the theme of chocolate - OMG! A Bailey's truffel bar! Oh my groaning waistband . . . what fresh hell is this?

Thursday, June 24, 2010


Katie Mitchell’s production for the ENO grew on me as the evening went on, but the thought did arise watching the grand beige minimalist mid-century modern hotel lobby that masquerades as the Palace of King Idomeneo that updating opera productions to weird and wonderful times and locations (the Dr Who approach, if you like) has become too easy a default setting for modern producers.

Set designers Vicki Mortimer and Alex Eales do it well, but the minimalism is skin deep - the production presents multiple complicated sets (there’s an airport with executive and cattle class lounges; the palace garden becomes a screening room), with ambitious set changes for the backstage crew in between. Loud clunks and bangs from behind the fire curtain heralded the arrival of the final scene.

It would almost be more original going back to basics and doing an Idomeneo with authentic 18th-century costumes. The original Idomeneo Anton Graaf had a fantastic rococo fantasy of a costume. Can you imagine the sea monster? It can’t be right to do a production where the traditional (and let’s face it, scripted) sea monster does not appear. But alas, exact mid-century modern equivalents for sea monsters were not available to the designers, and the monster was cut (the interval crowd at the ice cream stall was highly indignant). In mitigation, the ENO does a truly memorable storm scene.

The orchestra led by Edward Gardner and the chorus were absolutely superb. I enjoyed all the leads too, with special honours to Emma Bell as the spoiled, seductive and insane Princess Electra.

English National Opera
Coliseum 18 June - 19 July 2010

Tate à Tate: Arshile Gorky, Theo Van Doesburg, Henry Moore and Chris Ofilli

A post which went lost and missing earlier this year!

April was a lovely month for visits from far-flung friends. One of my
very dearest friends was in London on a lap of honour the last couple of weeks before a significant milestone. It was fantastic spending time with her and catching up. We had excellent, sociable meals here and here. She was whisked away to a country spa for a few days, but was back in Londres for an afternoon of hitting the Tates.

I had not seen any of the temporary exhibitions, so it seemed like a plan. We decided to start at Tate Modern and take the Tate-to-Tate boat upstream to Tate Britain.

Arshile Gorky: A Retrospective

To be honest I couldn’t really remember much about Arshile Gorky from my Art History studies – other than he seemed to be a second-ranking Abstract Expressionist. This show bears that impression out – it contains copious quantities of rather dull and derivative surrealism-based abstraction – all bar one room, which is by far the most impressive.

Poor Gorky had a desperately unhappy and tragic life – his father left Turkey for America when the future artist was little more than a baby; he and his remaining family had to flee Turkey during the Armenian Genocide and in the aftermath his mother died of starvation in Russia while Gorky was still a teenager.

Many years later he came across a photograph of himself and his mother from this time and used it as the basis for a series of portraits and paintings: without doubt masterpieces all. Tender, sombre and tragic – a supreme memorial. I responded to these so much more than to the abstracts – several of which were beautiful, but mostly just seemed professional and competent. One wonders if Gorky was in the wrong place at the wrong time – he was a brilliant figurative artist in a New York art world in thrall exclusively to Abstraction.  And it turns out my half-memory was wrong – it was Gorky apparently who lit that Abstract Impressionist fuse. But in retrospect his artistic heirs overshadow him.

Arshile Gorky
Tate Modern
10 February - 3 May 2010

Van Doesburg and the International Avant-Garde: Constructing a New World

Van Doesburg was a founder member of the Avant-Garde and crossed swords with the Bauhaus (before the Bauhaus succumbed to his vision). The title of the show definitely describes it well - his ambition was definitely to construct a new world. The exhibition contains examples of his typographic work, furniture design and architecture as well as painting. The typography still looks modern. This show is hugely fun and very absorbing.

Van Doesburg and the International Avant-Garde: Constructing a New World
Tate Modern
4 February - 16 May 2010

Chris Ofilli

Both of us are Chris Ofili fans and were looking forward to this one with anticipation. A retrospective, especially a first one, is a tricky event for an artist - can the body of work sustain the hype?

Ofili is undoubtedly the real thing - stunning paintings and ambitious ensembles; very sensitive drawings too.

Chris Ofilli
Tate Britain
27 January - 16 May 2010

Henry Moore

This show looks very handsome - the sculptures are arranged against beautiful coloured walls. It’s very refreshing to see Moore’s more intimate pieces.
Henry Moore
Tate Britain
24 February - 8 August 2010

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Grace Kelly - Style Icon at the V&A

"I am very happy that Grace has found herself such a good part" - Alfred Hitchcock

Grace Kelly’s film career ended when she was 27 upon her marriage to Prince Ranier of Monaco, and thereafter she lived the life of a European Princess – atoning for her privilege by doing good works while dressed in haute couture. But not acting. A rumoured comeback in 1962 was quickly denied. And thereafter one of the most notable film actresses of her generation did not act in films. Like Garbo before her, she absented herself at the peak of her career: unlike Garbo Grace remained centre stage for life.

The wedding of the Prince and the actress was incredibly glamorous and hopeful at the time – a symbol of an alliance between an America maturing into easy sophistication with a shattered Europe reinventing itself after the cataclysm of war. Joy was returning to the nations, even if we still had rationing.

But the dutiful timeline in the V&A’s exhibition brochure tells a more melancholy story – pre 1956, classic films with Alfred Hitchcock - an Oscar for Best Actress; post 1956 – this ball and that ball; cutting this ribbon or that ribbon. And this room full of pretty frocks, so dismally failing to conjure a sense of the woman.

Post Diana and Charles we are used to examining the cracks in the magicked up veneer of "happily ever after" - the newsreel footage showing an interview with Ranier on their engagement reminds one forcefully of Charles's ominously wooden public declaration of love: "Yes, whatever that may mean". Grace acts her part to perfection but there is no screen chemistry with her prince. And the rest is couture.

Grace Kelly: Style Icon
Victoria & Albert Museum
running to 26 September 2010

Monday, June 21, 2010

The Muffin Man


Emma inducted me into the secret society of Muffin Man devotees this weekend. This cosy teashop blushes unseen just off that orgy of consumerism that is the Kensington High Street - it’s a quietly seductive little slice of Ye Olde England: original retro, not the expertly designed ironic kind. Imagine a country teashop circa 1955; a haven of peace to meditate on the eternal verities of fresh, tasty cakes and perfectly brewed, real tea in china teapots. And scones. Weighed down with cream and jam.

The place was full but relaxed and our waitress was friendly and the kitchen obliging - Emma doesn’t do tomato so they substituted without fuss avocado in our high tea sandwiches, which arrived promptly. Emma’s passion cake was light and high-keyed with bright spicy flavours; my Queen Mother’s cake (walnut and date; hold the gin) was topped with seriously toffee-ish black sugar icing. Both were absorbing enough to command our full attention despite the fact Brian May and Anita Dobson were having tea at the next table. No doubt they were as impressed as we were with the very reasonable prices for the scrumptious tea.

The Muffin Man is a delightful oasis to sit and gossip and recharge for a further bout of serious shopping on the High Street, it is now high on my list of favourite London places. Thanks Emma!

Details for The Muffin Man are on my Qype review

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Adventures in Wonderland


Alice arrived in a Clapham wonderland earlier this month as Trinity Hospice welcomed Londoners to its garden open day in aid of the NGS.

The afternoon was themed as an ‘Alice in Wonderland’ family fun-day with entertainers, including magicians and costumed stilt walkers for children, stalls to browse and drinks and light refreshments. All in the setting of the magical and beautiful English country style gardens.

Friday, June 11, 2010

World Cup Fever Hits Clapham!

The World Cup starts today - here's hoping for a massively successful tournament for the host nation, South Africa, and let's hope the England team can overcome their somewhat fractious beginning and do us proud.

Am I dreaming that flag mania seems to increase with every World Cup? The colourful bunting definitely adds to the jollity of the Nation, even if one isn't a fan of the football. Some Clapham pubs are joining in the festivities - most impressively The Alexandria.

Which admittedly has the most impressive frontage to begin with.

Well done Alexandria!

Revolution on Clapham High Street has put a wall of flags behind their double story glass facade, which results in some interesting photographic effects.

Let's hope that mysterious throbbing neon zero in the centre of the USA flag is an omen for the match against England on Saturday.

And over in Clapham Old Town, even posh florists Birksen are getting in on the act.

The good old Prince of Wales goes for traditional bunting as well as a St George's flag.

Well, Clapham is all behind England! Go team!

Saturday, June 05, 2010

My Eurovision Winnings


Well this year’s Eurovision wasn’t all bad - in fact, Good Luck alert! I won some wireless Sennheiser headphones in Acediscovery’s Eurovision competition. To enter you had to guess the winning score (not the winner). Just as well I am better at predicting scores than guessing winners. My favourites Sweden failed to qualify.

They arrived this morning (the headphones, that is, not Sweden) and I plugged them in immediately. Totally enjoying the freedom of moving around the flat untethered by cables.

Saturday, May 29, 2010

Eurovision - The Finals, Oslo 2010

Last night’s Eurovision Final in Oslo was a great success and huge fun. I was thrilled that Germany won - a really encouraging result, showing the big four are still capable of winning if they have a good song (and also encouraging because it was a good song - we’re not being overwhelmed by shlock).

Here is my digest of best bits and tweets.

diamondgeezer Eurovision only takes up 0.09% of a year. It feels so much longer.

edwardclarkeWoo hoo! We're live in Oslo! #esc #eurovision

charltonbrooker Is it me or does the slight echo on Norton's voice make it sound like he's narrating from beyond the grave? #eurovision

efan78 Did Graham just say "Euro-Camp", is there any other type? #eurovision


1         Azerbaijan
        Drip Drop

wolfstar_de Azerbaijan's entry is a cheapo Beyonce/Alicia Keys/Leona power-ballad clone in 3/4, except without the charisma. It's dull as ditchwater.

edwardclarke ForeVAAAAH #Azerbaijan #esc #eurovision

thoroughlygood@edwardclarke Stop that. Stop that now.

2         Spain
        Daniel Diges
        Algo Pequeñito (Something Tiny)

Popjustice Something tiny in the number two slot reminds me of (NO THANKS - ED)

LeeBinding It's the Nutcracker... on crack. #eurovision

roryjmaxwell Leo Sayer, a Soprano and a toy soldier on acid. Spain at #eurovision

3         Norway
        Didrik Solli-Tangen
        My Heart Is Yours

LeeBinding He's flatter than Kate Moss's tits. #norway #eurovision

4         Moldova
        Sunstroke Project & Olia Tira
        Run Away

indiaknight Hoo, saxophonist sexytime.

edwardclarke This saxophonist is obscene on all sorts of levels. Just wrong

5         Cyprus
        Jon Lilygreen & The Islanders
        Life Looks Better In Spring

NickArchuleta Cyprus is way too English sounding :( #ESC

6         Bosnia & Herzegovina
        Vukašin Brajić
        Thunder And Lightning

travelling_wolf Bosnia and Herzegovina, I'd snog you drunkenly on the stairs at a party and regret it in the morning. #eurovision

7         Belgium
        Tom Dice
        Me And My Guitar

indiaknight Allez les Belges! #eurovision

SamStreet69 Belgium’s answer to James Blunt ... As if one Blunt wasn't enough! #eurovision

efan78 Will someone please turn the wind machine on and get this whiny bloke off the stage please? #eurovision

8         Serbia
        Milan Stanković
        Ovo Je Balkan

owenblacker RT @spaceboy: OMG years of authoriarian nationalism has produced the uber gay in Serbia! The gay to end all gays, indeed the end of gays.

LeeBinding Dance! Dance like your passport depends upon it! #eurovision

9         Belarus

charltonbrooker "We're like butterflies, flying to the sun". What, putting in a lot of effort to no avail?

10         Ireland
        Niamh Kavanagh
        It's For You

thoroughlygood NDN: "She's got Bridget Jones knickers on under that, I'm telling you." #eurovision #ireland. We're asking the neighbour to leave now.

11         Greece
        Giorgos Alkaios & Friends

Soeno RT @ScoobyDoofus: Does the term "Greek entry" make anyone else giggle? #eurovision

LeeBinding Typical Greek man, bragging. 'Whopper!' #eurovision

12         United Kingdom
        Josh Dubovie
        That Sounds Good To Me

gabexmosh I love how the UK's stage choreography has the dude ignoring the girls, while the male dancers ogle him. #wyldhomo #ESC

ScoobyDoofus Cheesier than a cheese sandwich with cheese flavoured bread. #UK #eurovision

Killdozer For you UK, ze Eurovision iz over #eurovision #esc

delrico to quote my mate Chris: "It costs us millions and we have no hope of winning. It's like a musical Afghanistan." #eurovision

projblogsphere "DO NOT CALL FOR THE UK" ... No, seriously... do not vote for #UK. #Bad #ESC

acabelt RT @McRoell: You have been Rick-Rolled #ESC #UK

nminers Aaaargh my ears!!! #uk #eurovision

charltonbrooker This from the nation that brought you The Kinks

thoroughlygood Next year, the #uk should just have someone stand on stage in silence for 3 minutes. #eurovision

dutchtea slecht UK 0 POINTS #ESC

13         Georgia
        Sofia Nizharadze

edwardclarke Norton: "No one got hurt - that's the main thing " #Georgia #esc #eurovision

14         Turkey
        We Could Be The Same

efan78 Ah, Bondage Cyberwomen and Linkin' Park's bastard love children, what more could you want? #eurovision

15         Albania
        Juliana Pasha
        It's All About You

arlloyd Albania 9/10 #eurovision (although it could also be BBC Newsreader does Goldfrapp for Children in Need)

16         Iceland
        Hera Björk
        Je Ne Sais Quoi

zatytom Oh Iceland, frumpy valkyrie awesomeness. #esc

LandersIE Is she wearing the after show party marquee? #Eurovision

17         Ukraine
        Sweet People

benlocker Ukraine does Noir Desir crossed with Joanna Lumley. Well odd. #eurovision

Queen_UK Oh dear. Ukraine clearly has deepset social problems.

nok32uk #eurovision Sweet people? Sweet Jesus!! #esc #ukraine

18         France
        Jessy Matador
        Allez Olla Olé

travelling_wolf French have, quite sensibly, moved away from the vote losing Edith Piaf model this time. #eurovision

owenblacker Damn them! RT @Ewan: They've had to "family riendly" the French dance and outfits #eurovision

indiaknight Jessy Matador is a brilliant name.

19         Romania
        Paula Seling & Ovi
        Playing With Fire

thoroughlygood: Significant Other on #romania's female singer: 'Don't flirt with him. He's disgusting.' #eurovision #romania #esc

20         Russia
        Peter Nalitch & Friends
        Lost And Forgotten

benlocker Russia changes gears, not keys. #eurovision

21         Armenia
        Eva Rivas
        Apricot Stone

owenblacker Armenia: Bloody wacky song, and a disappointing lack of hot Armenian boys on stage, but Im' quite liking this #eurovision

squawkbox That top is a bit tight, isn't it? #armenia #eurovision

roryjmaxwell "Apricot stone hidden in my hand"? She assumes that her tits have rendered you senseless - the lyrics are just random shit. #eurovision

charlotteyoung: ... I can quite confidently say that this is the best song about Apricot stones I've ever heard. Seriously. #eurovision

zatytom I'm properly loving this apricot madness. #esc

22         Germany

benlocker German girl dances like she's desperate for the loo. Wish they'd fielded Max Raabe. #eurovision

travelling_wolf: What accent is she singing with? Is she a German cockney? #eurovision

MayorWatch Am impressed, German act well into her song and no-one on Twitter seems to have mentioned the war. Must be a record.

23         Portugal
        Filipa Azevedo
        Há Dias Assim

GuyAitchison The Portugese entry seems to be singing in Portugese. What's that about? #eurovision

pembdave Portugal... Take a hint... #eurovision

24         Israel
        Harel Skaat

ajscroxton Theoretically, and given Ireland sent the 1993 winner, could Israel send Dana International again? This needs to happen. #eurovision

25         Denmark
        Chanée & N'evergreen
        In A Moment Like This

jenblower aaaw, The Police + ABBA + Key change = Denmark! #eurovision

26         Spain (again)

thoroughlygood OH WOW. #spain gets to perform again because of that stage invasion. Good show. Nice. Great for us anoraks. #eurovision.

edwardclarke What? Why punish all of us when only one person ran on stage? #esc

guy_interruptd ROFL! I do love you, Mike! RT @LondonVoiceover: Sing twice if you like. But the phrase "snowball's chance in hell" comes to mind

leebinding I'm marking Spain down because the stage invaded actually added to it. #eurovision

Interval Act

jackwallington Eurovision Flashmob!! YES!!

Leanne_Cee #Eurovision Dancing scenes in private houses all over Europe. Amazing how they bring it together

bbceurovision Best interval act since Riverdance, in my humble opinion!

RedMummy Am loving live webcams on #eurovision. Not sure whether to call RSPCA or NSPCC first.

jackwallington Everyone else amazing. UK just lifts up some drunk people. We are SHIT.

Voting & Winner

Cardiff_Blogger We're in the top half! Finish now! #Eurovision

jonemo Congrats to the UK who did much better than expected (and well better than their 10year average) in the #esc!

wolfstar_de Germany winning Eurovision? That's about as likely as a Conservative-LibDem coalition. Oh fuck.

Eurobin Lena wins for Germany with a Lily Allen / Kate Nash type of song that the UK should have been doing - UK missed the boat #eurovision #esc

pauljchambers We finished last??? It's all the coalition's fault #eurovision

Queen_UK Be thankful society frowns on capital punishment, Mr Waterman. Be very thankful.

ajscroxton Listening to Katrina and the Waves. Happy days of 1997. No Eurovision wins under the Tories.

leebinding There. I'm done. Thank you kindly for listening, darlings. I'm off to crawl further into a bottle of gin for the rest of the night.