Christmas Lights in London: Carnaby Street

Christmas Lights in London: Carnaby Street, originally uploaded by hedgiecc.

Christmas is coming! Yippee!

Cildo Meireles

Never heard of this guy - but his retrospective at Tate Modern (until 11 January) is probably the most fun, and thought-provoking exhibition on in London at the moment.

A conceptualist, many of his works are physically interactive, which is quite charming, and intellectually challenging at the same time.

Gay reproductive advantage

Saw this via Gay Banker, a new scientific theory about why gayness never died out through natural evolution.

My little brain struggles to comprehend - but basically, it appears that the premise of the popular make-over tv programme, Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, is now established scientific theory: a little bit of the gay makes you better with the laydeez.

Hmmm.

more moans: M&S dinner

I bought M&S’s ‘new’ Kerala King Prawn Curry (£3.99) for dinner last night. After another hectic week I fancied a curry on the sofa sat in front of Celebrity .

Out of the packet it looked very pretty - the prawns in their shells arranged on a bed of coconut curry flavoured with mangoes, mustard seeds and curry leaves. The prawns were delicious, and the curry tasted good, but was choc full of fibrous materials and deeply unripe, inedible mango - not good; in fact left uneaten.

Disappointing - definitely not recommended.

Friday moan: fighting fires

A nasty pattern is emerging at work. It goes something like this:

Colleague: * Fighting with customer. Will have my own way. Won’t communicate with colleagues. Ignore reality. Don’t admit problems. Deadline. Panic. *

* Explosion *

* hide from bosses *

“Hedgie! Hedgie! Help me! Fire! Fire! My pants are on fire!”

Hedgie: “Ok, I’ll get the bucket of water”

Colleague: “ NO! NOT the water!”

Hedgie: “At this point lots of water straight on the fire is the best solution. It won’t take a moment.”

Colleague: “ Stupid! You don’t understand! The situation is much more complex than that! I just can’t accept water!”

* burning *

“Ouch!”

Hedgie: “The water will save you”

Colleague: “Ok, use the water.”

* splash *

* fire goes out *

* Hedgie cleans up mess *

Colleague (to bosses): “Look what a brilliant job I’ve done!”


- and start again from the top.

sigh of relief

Good riddance!

I speak as a Pisces with Sagittarius rising, who has not enjoyed Pluto's presence overmuch. Maybe that's too much information!

Scrooge alert!

Every year someone pops up to have a whinge about Christmas cards, and this year it turns out to be a Bishop.

Well, sorry,your holiness, but I bought mine today. Now to get writing . . .

And in any event - the first ever Christmas card (invented by Henry Cole, the first director of the V&A), wasn't notably Christian in sentiment:





Oh the materialistic hedonism of those debauched Victorians! And quick! Get that child into care!!!

Lunch

Experimenting with new software here . . . hope this works!

Last Thursday I was in Victoria Station around lunchtime, and decided to try <A HREF=”http://www.wasabi.uk.com/“>Wasabi </A>for lunch. They have individually-wrapped sushi portions; quite a large and imaginative selection for a fast-food operation like this.

The staff were very cute and helpful, and the sushi was good - streets ahead of the supermarket stuff with stiff and nastily refrigerated rice.

at long last!

Been shopping!

Guess what I bought?

Here's a big clue:



Lovely new macBook. :-)

Yippee!

from the bosom of the ocean

It's ridiculously pleasing when a hoary old cliche, an urban myth, a tired old formula, actually steps into the light and is made flesh. In the course of my researches on the intermawebs, I came across this:



This, my friends, is one of those very deckchairs which are perpetually being rearranged on the deck of the Titanic.

The Delphic iPod

Saw this on Boz’s blog (he got via Vicus Scurra) a while ago, and couldn’t do it until I was technologically updated. It’s pretty fun to do, and as a commenter on Vicus’s blog said: “This meme is surprisingly accurate for such a primitive form of psychometric inquiry.”

The Meme:

1. Put your music player on shuffle
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. You must put down the song name no matter what. (Hmm. I think we all cheated - - - I draw a veil - - -)


What would best describe your personality?
A Wolf at the Door (It Girl, Rag Doll) – Radiohead

Heh.

What do you like in a guy/girl?
Boss Drum – The Shamen

Yes sir.

How do you feel today?
Crying – Bjork

Nope.

What is your life’s purpose?
She Sun Shines - Cast

What is your motto?
Mouth’s Cradle – Bjork

WTF?????

What do your friends think of you?
Supernatural Superserious – R.E.M.


What do you think of your parents?
Walk Unafraid – R.E.M.

So true.

What do you think about very often?
Blue Pastures - James


What do you think of your best friend?
Mysterons - Portishead


What do you think of your crush?
In the Forest – The Coral


What is your life story?
River Deep, Mountain High – The Supremes


What do you want to be when you grow up?
A Moment with you? – George Michael


What do you think when you see your crush?
Winter Kills - Yazoo


What do your parents think of you?
Mysterious Ways – U2


How’s your love life?
Time to get away – LCD Soundsystem

Ipods have GODLIKE knowledge.


What will they play at your funeral?
Narcissus – Alanis Morissette

Bastards! I'll haunt them!


What will you dance to at your wedding?
Save a soul in every town – The Christians


What is your hobby/interest?
Electrolite – R.E.M.



What’s your biggest secret?
Glory Days – Bruce Springsteen


What do your think of your friends?
Viva la Vida - Coldplay


What song do you listen to when you are sad?
Slow Night, So Long – Kings of Leon


In love?
You are my sister – Antony & the Johnsons

Maybe that's what I'm doing wrong.


What song do you air guitar to?
Goin’ Back – Dusty Springfield


What should be your signature karaoke song?
Hunter - Portishead


What is your greatest desire?
Black Swan – Thom Yorke


What does next year have in store for you?
Cymbal Rush – Thom Yorke


What’s your outlook on life?
Hard to Beat – Hard-Fi


How will you die?
Anytime at all – Alison Moyet


Do people secretly lust after you?
Myxomatosis – Radiohead

I’ll take that as a no.


The best advice you will ever get?
I Want You – Madonna (featuring Massive Attack)

Flattering - ? -

The History of Me in Cocktails: No 3: - Today

God what a week. Work; home, money, life - hassles, crises, disasters. Culminated in a sleepless night last night; finally dropped off at @ 5am. Took the morning off and rolled into work at 12 noon, no less. Thank the Lord for relaxed bosses.

Bad bad boy. However, I was v. good all afternoon; really did quite a surprising amount of work. Believe me, I needed to.

But now I'm home and blogging while drunk.

I have long wished to make my very own Brandy Alexander, instead of buying Sainsbury's packaged version.. Apparently, it's derided as a classic "Prom Cocktail" - however, anything sweet and creamy rings my bell.

The flatmate also confessed to liking Brandy Alexanders, so I ordered in the ingredients according to Diffordsguide, especially Creme de Cacao White Liqueur.

They arrived today from Drinkon, but imagine my horror when I discovered we didn't have enough ice to do the cocktail shaker thing! Aargh!

However needs must when the devil drives; necessity is the mother of invention, etc etc. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you:

The Chocolate Gin & Tonic

or, a

Fizzy Alexander


Glass: Collins
Garnish: erm - whatever u can find - use yor imagination
Method: Pour ingredients into ice-filled glass (or in our case, glasses with 2 cubes each)

1.5 shot(s) Gin
.5 shot(s) Creme de Cacao White Liqueur
Top up with Tonic water

Cream instead of tonic water and shaken would give you an Alexander; hence my fizzy version. Honestly, it's lovely - looks exactly like a G&T, but with subtle chocolatey flavas - you can never get enough chocolate!


The History of Me in Cocktails: No.2

Yay!

Yep I'm pretty late but still very pleased and excited by the good news from across the ocean. Hooray for America and here's wishing President Obama all the best!

James Morrison's take on Sex on Fire

I love this. Well done James!

>

Kings of Leon's original video here.

temptation

Sainsbury’s has discovered a new weapon of mass destruction: All Butter Almond Thins. I scoffed a box all by myself in one sitting, watching Merlin on TV. They clearly have the potential to do devastating damage to my waistline. Gorgeous buttery taste, and very crispy and more-ish. £1.29 a packet.

Get a grip, people!

Russell Brand and Jonathan Ross were very naughty to leave obscene messages on Andrew Sachs’s answerphone. They do owe Andrew Sachs, his granddaughter and radio listeners an apology. However, it’s all been blown up crazily; all by the usual culprits:

1) Media competitors of the BBC. The Sun and The Daily Mail almost never have a positive word to say about the poor old beeb.
2) Politicians. Am I alone in thinking that at this time of economic meltdown, the Prime Minister has somewhat greater priorities than sounding off about some radio show? And David Cameron must be welcoming the shift in media emphasis away from the Oleg Deripaska scandal.
3) Andrew’s granddaughter is a performer, an alternative burlesque dancer in a troupe calling themselves The Satanic Sluts. No publicity is bad publicity.
4) The green eyed monster ravaging Middle England: how dare Jonathan Ross and Russell Brand earn more than us??

Honestly. The programme got 2 complaints when it was broadcast. A week after the media row started, it now has upwards of 30,000 complaints. Clearly people are just having a laugh, or kicking the BBC when it’s down.

Living Together

I enjoyed the second part of Alan Ayckbourne’s Norman Conquests trilogy much more than the first, partly because I was better fed, and partly because I was in a better mood. The acting and production was as excellent as it was for the first play, and I was cunningly seated at an angle which got quite good views of the actors this time.

The same characters perform the same events – a horrific 1970’s country house weekend – but this time from the perspective of the living room. Conversations and events in this room expand and alter what we have already seen unfolding in the dining room (or vice versa, depending on which play you’ve seen first: it’s not supposed to matter).

The experience is quite flattering for the audience: one almost feels like God, knowing what is happening/going to happen/has just happened in the dining room. It creates a different dimension to one’s responses, which left me looking forward to the last segment. I have a bit of a waits ahead of me, though – we couldn’t get the date we wanted.

Table Manners
Round and Round the Garden

The Old Vic

Rothko at Tate Modern

The crowd at the Tate Modern’s Rothko members private view seemed more up-scale than for Bacon at Tate Britain; also, there seemed to be lot more people. Do people just like Rothko more, or does Tate Modern’s greater popularity affect the turn out?

I was really concerned, as the first few rooms are small and there were heaving swarms of people (queues to get in again!), that Rothko’s quietly numinous paintings would wilt in the onslaught. But in the third room Rothko triumphed.

This very large room is basically an expanded Tate “Rothko Room”: the 9 Tate Seagram paintings and the others from the series brought together especially for this show all together at last. They look perfectly amazing: this has to be one of the most beautiful rooms in London at the moment, and single-handedly makes this show a must-see. The paintings hang high, in dim light, and are subtle variations in maroons, reds and greys. The crowd was noisily milling about in the centre of the room, but thank heavens the arty Tate members mostly wear black – an excellent colour choice on this occasion, not interfering with any of the art.

The other late paintings are disappointing, in that he steadily bled all colour out of them (foolishly and vainly responding to criticism that he was too ‘decorative’); of course ending up on flat-lining greys and blacks has allowed everyone to retrospectively see a progress towards suicide. While this may not be so (certainly, I would be suicidal if I had to paint a series of all-black masterpieces), certainly aesthetically he had reached the end of the road – where to after all black??

Rothko
Tate Modern
26 September 2008 - 1 February 2009

Burn After Reading

I really enjoyed this film. Just brilliantly done – excellent plot development, pacing, camerawork; and the acting is all geat. I know Tilda Swinton always plays the ice queen but this one is really special. And John Malkovich, Brad Pit and George Clooney are terrific too. However, probably the most amazing performance is by Frances McDormand as Linda Litzke, a narcissistic gym employee determined to fund her plastic surgeries no matter what.

Set in Washington, all the characters spy on each other while trying to pursue their own secret agendas. However, none of them really succeeds at any level, and all the agendas collide catastrophically. “A clusterfuck”, the CIA chief calls it, before burying the consequences and moving on. Intelligence is relative indeed.

Table Manners

What I learned on Friday night:

1) Let memories be. The teachers at my school performed a version of Alan Ayckbourne’s The Norman Conquests which had us all rolling on the floor. I realize now that Mr Hills had skillfully distilled 6 hours of drama into one half-hour of riotous hilarity. And anything done by teachers is intrinsically funny.

2) Don’t be a martyr! Felt awful Friday evening – nervous exhaustion from a frazzled week at work and a straight week of insomnia took its toll. I arrived at Waterloo unable to focus on buying a sandwich at M&S. Eventually I enjoyed a pre-theatre snack of a mini-prawn cocktail dip and an oatmeal, banana and apple juice smoothy. Yum. However it did the trick and kept me together for the play.

3) There are very funny bits in the play, but also extremely discomforting bits. It left me depressed.


4) The acting was good, and the old Vic has cunningly turned itself into a theatre-in-the-round: at huge cost and inconvenience, I’m sure, and to such little effect. I’m not that convinced the round brings the actors any closer, and it’s annoying to cope with actors’ backs. In fact, this aspect spoils the play quite a lot because one is constantly aware of the director arranging the actors so that everyone has an equal chance to see their faces. So it’s not natural; it’s every bit as contrived as a proscenium and at least with a proscenium you can see all the action!

5) I’ve bought a season ticket to the full three plays in the trilogy. On the basis of Table Manners, I’m not sure I would have bothered with the others. The acting and production is perfectly ok, and the plays haven’t dated, really, at all (cf Peter Shaffer) – it’s just the bleakness of the playwright’s vision really that turns me off.

Living Together

Round and Round the Garden

The Old Vic