here I am

Yeah yeah I know. Sorry. Work & stuff, plus no home computer. Still - I WILL be better!

Update:

1) Teeth all fixed. Nice dentist, nasty hygenist. Really vicious.

2) New mortgage in the process of being fixed. Hooray!

3) New 'phone and new contract package from Orange. Very nice new 'phone. Very very nice. Yum Yum.

4) New window being made - will take three weeks. Blah, and blah to Norwich Union too.

5) New paint samples on walls.

6) New bike all serviced. Very very scared to take it out on the road, let alone cycle to work. But I must.

7) New lamps from Habitat, New bedlinen from John Lewis, New caffetiere, towels, lampshade, clothes

8) Extrememly expensive and insane impulse purchase from Oliver Sweeney (sale, but still) - drippingly gorgeous New Shoes. They're so lovely I licked them.

9) Oh God. Diary of a shopaholic, or what??!

10) New furniture delivery from Habitat tomorrow!! Yay!

No Smoking

Smoking has become illegal in all public spaces in England (hooray!) I have just learned that the concept of ‘public areas’ extends to company cars, and that the government requires all company vehicles to be issued with ‘no smoking’ stickers. Ha ha ha.

One of my colleagues smokes like a mucky chimney and arrived at work this morning saying he had broken the law 4 times already.

At present, I am more exposed to cigarette smoke than I have been for a very long while. Our office is in a quite small unit in a ‘mews’ complex, with french doors opening onto a balcony corridor. Guess where the smokers think they can light up.

My desk is right next to the french doors, and another of my colleagues is a fresh-air fiend. So the doors are mostly open, and the smoke mostly blows in back on to me.

Oink. Oh well, I have my legal rights and it looks like I’m going to have to exercise them. How to make friends and be popular in your new job, lesson 1., coming right up. Watch this space.

rain, rain, rain

All those annoying know-it-all voices claiming we were on track for the hottest summer ever have gone a bit quiet. I’m just saying.

Dali and Film

I reconnected with my sanity after the break-in at the Tate’s Dali and Film show. My brother was down from Cambridge with a friend, so we all met up on Sunday afternoon. The exhibition, and indeed the Tate, was deliciously and surprisingly empty, which allowed a relaxed viewing experience and an even more relaxed tea-time experience afterwards. Indeed, we got the best table in the upstairs café – right on the windows overlooking the river, the Millennium Bridge, and St Paul’s. St Paul’s was framed by beautifully arranged cranes – lots of building happening in the city right now.

My impeccably Marxist tutors at University left me with a distinct feeling that Surrealism was a Suspect Project, and that Dali was the biggest fraud of all. So I was delighted with the exhibition – a really interesting look at his work in film and its impact on his painting. Personally, I think his collaboration with Hitchcock was the highlight.

I suppose this is what Art History is – once people begin to forget the immediate ideological context and their own position relative to it, their response to the image becomes slightly more open to other influences.

Tea was so restorative. I had a delicious watermelon and ginger smoothy, and a faultlessly executed rhubarb crumble. The Tate is so lucky it has some of the most spectacular spaces in London for its dining rooms – the Rex Whistler room at Tate Britain and this glassed-in room perched over the river and the city. Wow.

Dali and Film
Tate Modern
1 June - 9 September 2007

Weekend News roundup

The Observer had a strange headline this last Sunday – something about Tony Blair knew the Americans had no occupation plans for Iraq before we went in. I thought everyone knew that already? – the only new bit of this story seems to be that Tony’s old friend Peter Mandelson was now claiming this. Et tu Brute, etc etc etc. I suppose Peter has to prepare for a post-Tony future. But this is probably too little too late to appeal to Gordon Brown.

The big news this weekend was the great flood of Britain. I have to confess to unwitting callousness – I was annoyed on Friday to be caught by a few random raindrops on my way back to the office from lunch. Then I saw on TV news later that night about the utter deluge everywhere else. Oops. On Saturday, The Times said that this was in fact a well-known meteorological phenomenon called the ‘return of the westerlies’ which happens every June and is in fact a mini-monsoon season. I’d never heard of this before! Silly to schedule stuff like Wimbledon, Ascot, etc etc for June when the likelihood of rain is quite high.

I’ve made a new friend – I haven’t yet learned her name. She came up to me on my way home on Friday and on Saturday showed a great deal on interest in the sausages I was grilling for dinner – definitely casing the joint to get through the windows.

I went outside to chat. She was very friendly – I don’t know much about cats but I got definite ‘make love to me now’ vibes. Quite large – maybe pregnant?? – very silky black fur and quite as friendly as a dog. Exquisite little designer collar, bell and heart-shaped ID disc, which she refused to let me read. Really, a Clapham cat shouldn’t be quite so comfortable with strangers, even if they are grilling sausages.

As I tickled her tummy she started sneezing, which made me wonder – are cats allergic to people who are allergic to cats??

crime scene

This is the window the burglar forced to get in. He inserted a tool to unlock the latch, then 'popped' the sash over the (chubb) window locks and pulled it down - leaving very minimal damage to the window and only scuffing the woodwork paint. He then tried to lever the secondary window open, several times, leaving huge gouges in the metal frame before smashing the glass. He was then able to climb in, closing and relocking the outer sash behind himself (he left through a back window).

The police found a few smudgy fingermarks on the outside of the frame, left by someone climbing out. Inside he wore gloves and wiped down behind himself.

He left a few muddy footprints on my cream sofa.

Anyway, so that's the story. I am now in conflict with Everest about replacing the window - despite charging me £72 for a call-out I have no say over when they will come, the date or even the time. And their telephone operators have clearly been trained by watching Catherine Tate videos - it's all "Whatever, I'm not bovered". It's now almost a month, and I haven't even been quoted for the damage!

So now, Norwich Union have written to say they are sending in their own claims people to sort out the damage - after originally telling me to get a quote, and after me paying Everest £72 to quote.

Absolutely the only reason I am still considering using Everest is because they were the installers of the original windows and using a different company to replace a window will affect the guarantee.

Similar issues are happening with Visa and mastercard. The 'secure' postal people they use to deliver cards are utterly frustrating. No British company believes in personal customer service any more. Even getting the police to come out and do a security check is just not happening. I would say my Bank, Barclays, has been the best organization I have dealt with over this so far.

Whole Foods

Whole Foods' new shop in South Kensington has been picking up loads of publicity. I was a huge fan of their shop in the basement of the Time Warner Building in New York, so had to go check this one out.

The range and brilliant quality of the food, and the amazing presentation of it. I just had to have two huge artichokes from a generous pile, and also garlic stuffed olives and fudge from Burnt Sugar, to which I have become instantly addicted.

So it's a great place to expose oneself to major temptation - but bring lots of money!

keyring, part III

Sparkles the Lobster became Sparkles the legless lobster - not surprisingly, he was a bit all bling. One of his legs came off and fell down the floor grill at Tate Modern's Dali and Film exhibition, so I thought that was a bit appropriate. But then his tail came off too. I repaired it but the weld is very weak, so Sparkles has been retired for his own safety.

I have now purchased a boring but ok for now and very sturdy red leather keyring from the British Library, where I was yesterday. Great fun in the reading rooms researching - I adore the place.

Anniversary

My first blogiversary - missed!

Oh well, I had other things on my mind.

Still sorting through all the burglary admin - insurances, police, community crime prevention officers, victim support, security services, window replacement quotes, blah blah blah.

Resurrected my money tin to collect coins towards the new equpment. Luckily, my mum is going to send some money to help out, and my office is giving me a computer on permanent loan. So, I may have a new computer and camera before too long; and I'll just have to save my pennies for a new iPod and speakers.

This morning a man came to quote for a burglar alarm - for me personally and also a communal one for the front doors. Oh yes and cameras front and back.

Disaster Strikes

Woe. My catalogue of catastrophes continues - this Wednesday I returned from work to find I had had a break-in and all my electricals have been stolen - Nikon D70, iPod, Bose sounddock, a broken Canon SLR, and my apple mac. All gone.

Due to the fact I have been unemployed and dealing long-distance with my Father's illness and recent death, I have had no contents insurance. While I have just started a new job, I haven't yet reinsured, so I am totally exposed.

I can't afford to replace the stuff at all.


Presumably, I will continue blogging from work, although there will be no more pics for the forseeable future. To be honest I don't know whether this blog will survive at the moment.

no news roundup

I had a newspaper-free weekend! So no news snippets this week. I suppose the big news was the absolutely apocalyptically bad weather. A Bank Holiday classic - brilliant sunshine Thursday and Friday; clouds appearing Friday evening; Saturday miserable with intermittent showers all day; Sunday - rainly and cold all day; Monday - ditto; Tuesday - sunny, just in time for the working week! Blah! My theory is that the collective thoughts of the 60 million inhabitants of these islands somehow affects the weather - we fear it so much we actually make it happen.

Headed out this morning at 8.10am and was surprised by the sight of an amorous drake determinedly stalking a duck through long grass. An unsual sight on our side of the common - the duck pond is over on the south side. I don't know whether she was trying to throw him off and just wandered over our way, or else the ducks felt the weather had enlarged their normal habitat considerably. Personally, I missed my normal trek across the Common this morning because I didn't want mud all over my shoes.

new toy

new toy, originally uploaded by hedgiecc.

A pinhole camera kit, bought at the Tate's "How We Are: Photographing Britain" exhibition. Finished assembling it, now to try it out!

Country Affair

Country Affair, originally uploaded by hedgiecc.

"A Country Affair" Happening this weekend on the Common. Traditional Bank Holiday Weekend weather, I'm afraid - bad and getting worse, right after a gloriously sunny working week. The gods are truly angry at us.

However, I have inside plans for this weekend, so I'm not bothered!

How We Are: Photographing Britain

I haven't forgotten my New Year's resolution. In fact, I went to the private view of the Tate's Hogarth exhibition, but didn't get around to actually blogging about it. Which was a pity, because the show was fascinating - there's so much social observation going on in Hogarth's paintings there wasn't really enough time to look at them all properly. I remember the Tate had to throw us out at closing time.

Well, on Tuesday this week I went with Catriona to the How We Are exhibition - the Tate's first show devoted to photography. It's as fascinating as the Hogarth beacuse of the interesting angles the curators have taken and the inherent sociological interest of how life has changed in the 170 odd years since photography was invented.

Either the curators are fans of Sarah Waters' novels, or Sarah Waters uses archive photography for research. Lots of the exhibition looked like illustrations for her books: Victorian cross-dressing music hall artistes ( I thought:"Ooh, that's a hunky sailor!" - who turned out on closer inspection to be a woman in sailor drag); photographs of women inmates of Victorian asylums on the outskirts of London (Fingersmith, anyone?); - and photographs of women firefighters in World War II.

How We Are: Photographing Britain
Tate Britain
22 May - 2 September

Weekend News roundup

I'm slowly getting back in the swing - but not much caught my interest this weekend.

Why chocolate is 'good for teeth' - from Metro. The Cabury PR team desperately trying to reposition the brand after the salmonella scare of last year. However, they've chosen an uphill battle with this one. The British Dental Association immediately pointed out that the sugar content in chocolate is extremely bad for teeth. Cadbury were also hoping to tie their product in with good circulation and healthy hearts, but the British Heart Foundation swatted that down too, on the same sugary basis. Oh dear. Back the drawing board, Cadbury.

Actually, I spotted over a fellow commuter's shoulder another pro-Cadbury 'article' in Metro this morning. Unfortunately, I missed picking a copy up for myself so I am none the wiser.

The other big story this weekend was the FA Cup Final. I am not a football fan per se - however I do maintain a theoretical interest in order to be able to communicate with The.Lads.At.Work. Also some footballers are hot. I think Arsenal has the best-looking team at the moment; however I am a Chelsea supporter (glamour club; local; Jose Mourinho is such good value) so was pleased Chelsea won.

I have despised Alex Fergusson ever since he was mean to David Beckham, but even so I was pretty sorry for him losing - Manchester United didn't deserve to lose like that.

I love that Jose is a Yorkshire terrier fan. Does not compute.

lobster invasion

My attraction to inappropriate keyrings continues. After my lovely glass keyring from South Africa met an untimely but completely predictable demise, I had to have this super sparkly number from the V&A Surreal Things exhibition shop. Actually bought two lobsters - one a bright red squeezy plastic toy, which I intend taping to my 'phone's receiver in homage to Dali's 'phone.

Surreal Things

Without a doubt, one of the most remarkable retail spaces in London at the moment is the temporary shop at the V&A's Surreal Things exhibition.

I found the exhibition fantastic, but the shop alone is worth a visit. The design team has plundered ideas from the Surrealists and their followers, including Elsa Schiaparelli. The result is incredibly entertaining and seductive - it certainly worked on me - I couldn't resist buying things, dspite my present abject poverty.

As always, the V&A's exhibition was beautifully designed: big on visual impact and playful in a surreal way but clear and concise in its organisation of the information.

The emphasis is on applied arts - stage and interior design, furnishings, textiles and fashion. This aspect of the Surrealist project is not so familiar (at least to me) and I found it fascinating. One of the exhibits is Schiaparelli's notorious monkey coat: absolutely 'ick' - and meant to be - but absolutely gorgeous as a coat. Wow. Of course, since it was made the whole idea of fur has acquired more and more taboos in society, as Pete Burns discovered to his chagrin on Celebrity Big Brother last year. I'm surprised the V&A hasn't attracted more negative publicity because of it. For example, have the police tested it's endangered species status??!

Victoria and Albert Museum
Surreal Things: Surrealism and Design
29 March 2007 - 22 July 2007

Brothers in Arms

My brother has sibling Issues. This I learned. As eldest, it has escaped my attention 'till now but he definitely has issues.

He is the PhD in the family. This is clearly very important. He informed us that if you have an MA in the UK you are considered a failure (I have an MA). Hmmmm. I feel that there are mlllions and millions of people in the UK without tertiary education at all who live quite happy and successful lives.

At a dinner for Ingrid and Peter he interrupted and spoke over Ingrid whenever she tried to say anything. This surprised me as I have always regarded J's social skills as superior to mine. And at the end of dinner he made a great deal of paying for me as I was 'unemployed'. Urgh.

The day of the funeral was relatively good. After all the guests left my mother asked to go shopping - which turned out to be a really good time, with lots of useful clothes shopping (she hadn't bought anything for herself for two years) and us ending up at a nice cafe afterwards. However, J spoiled everything later by starting a silly argument which rapidly became very heated. I was out of the room at the time, and returned to a catastrophoc change of emotional temperature. Stony silence all round. Then he stormed out. Mum and I stayed, her a bit weepy. Half-an-hour later he returned; mum tried building bridges, rebuffed by J, who statrted ramping up the heat some more. In the middle of all this my aunt telephoned. Mum took the call. J continued his stupid tirade, undeterred by the fact mum was now focussing on her sister. I snarled at him to get some proportion: after all, mum had just buried her husband that day.

He screamed at me! ~ but my words had effect as he climbed down rapidly. Both he and mum spent the rest of the weekend over-compensating, which was stressful in itself.

I am told it is usual for there to be family arguments in periods of bereavement. Whatever. I am however really angry with my sister, who decided not to come to the funeral at all due to 'ill health' (although she's well enough to go to work). I'm shocked at anyone missing their parent's funeral.

funeral flowers

funeral flowers, originally uploaded by hedgiecc.

This is a simple marker of a sad event - my Dad passed away in the early hours of 30th April. He was 81 years old and in extremely poor health; a late stage of a blood cancer with no hope of recovery - peacefully passing on with no pain was a blessing. He was a fighter to the end - cheerful and positive; desiring to lessen the trauma for others. He probably would not have lasted so long without my mother's immense strength and will-power simply willing him on - we worried she wasn't accepting the inevitable but when he time came she took the decision to withdraw medical intervention herself.

The funeral service was simple and beautiful - the priest officiating was an old family friend (87 himself) and I found I really needed his professional support through the ceremony. I wasn't expecting the actual mechanics of the funeral to be so upsetting, but unfortunately I had a row with the extremely obtuse undertakers about delivery of the coffin 15 minutes before the due start of the service. 'Six Feet Under' emphaticially they were not.

Buy! Buy! Buy!

St Mary's Clapham is very shy - it's been locked up the last few times I've looked in. But it is open for mass at 7am, so I was up early to light candles for ailing and departed loved ones. Catholicism is at its best when it's most pagan. Feeling all spiritually refreshed, I then tubed it to King's Cross for the Ted Baker sample sale. Trousers and Jeans £20! Shirts £25! Suits £75! Wowee!

Half of London was there already, rifling through the racks to pumping house. Lots of good stuff, and plenty of assistants restocking, so all the good stuff hasn't necessarily gone early. It's good to know your Ted Baker sizes beforehand so you don't have to try things on - more rifling time! The suits were particularly excellent at £75 a pop. I didn't get one because I was specifically looking for a black one which I didn't find (the man in the queue ahead of me bought FIVE). I did come away with three jeans and three shirts. Yippee!

The sale is on at the Camden Centre, one block down from St Panras station, today and tomorrow until 8pm.

Satyagraha

The opera is Philip Glass's meditation on the origins of Gandhi's policy of non-violent resistance (which he termed 'satyagraha'), set in South Africa.

Philip Glass's music is famously minimalist - incantatory and hypnotic - and therefore not dramatic in any kind of 'plot' sense. But it suits this tale very well; political activism was recast as ritual and raised to a mythic level. The burning of passes in Act II was very effective and an example of drama building up slowly, glacially, through a combination of the music and the ritualistic action on stage.

The production was gorgeous - all rusty browny golds and blacks, with spots of blue from time to time and white highlights. The stage was carpeted with varnished newsprint and bounded by a semicircle of rusty corrugated iron. From this umpromising format astonishing feats of spectacle were extracted, surprising the audience and deepening the symbolism right to the end. The lighting design was particularly atmospheric. In fact, despite the slow musical tempo the staging was quite acrobatic - we had stilt walkers, huge mythological puppets manned by arrays of cast members, people whizzed off stage on lines, etc etc etc.

Snippets

What I learned today:

1) A glass bottle keyring filled with coloured sands in pretty patterns bought at Johannesburg airport is not a practical idea.

2) Should have booked a cycle service earlier, before the good weather brought all the summer cyclists out of hibernation :-(. The cycle shop can only do me in two weeks time.

3) Focus! In a past time of major life changes, I simply lost everything that wasn't physically bolted to me. It looks like this is happening again. I left my keys on the till at Sainsbury last week, and on the till at M&S today. This time I twigged only when trying to reenter my front door. I had to walk back across the common.

4) Which wasn't bad, as it's a fantastically gorgeous day - London is truly at it's best on a perfect May day. Fresh greenery, tall blue skies, ambient temperatures, fresh breezes, sunbathers, picnickers, kite fliers, dog walkers, young mums with baby buggies, cyclists - the common was awash with neighbourly joy.

5) Global warming alert!! - normally, I start my hayfever medication the second week of May, but this year I started today - and it felt like it was in the nick of time! The botanists are saying all the plants are two weeks early, and my nose agrees!

6) Off to the Opera tonight! ~ Satyagraha at the ENO by Philip Glass.

Tony Blair

I'm not doing a "news roundup" this week but instead am going to quote from The Observer's editorial, an anaysis of Tony Blair's legacy:

"Britain is better off after a decade with Tony Blair in charge of the most successful, progressive government since Attlee. Wealth has been created and been redistributed. That is what Labour governments have always hoped to do. It has happened without a break on global competitiveness. That is what New labour hoped to do: build a vibrant market economy with a generous welfare state; economic freedom and social protection. That is Blairism.

So on Thursday millions of voters will go to the polls intending to bury the Prime Minister. In time they will find many reasons to praise him."

I do tend to agree. That Cameron is aping Tony's style, that Gordon Brown is trying to be more touchy-feely himself, is a tribute to Tony. And this government has succeeded in a way the previous Tory government hopelessly failed.

BUT - Iraq is so huge a miscalculation, so awesome a misjudgement, it simply demolishes all the positives. All Chamberlain is remembered for today is waving a piece of paper and crying "Peace in our time". Iraq with its probably dreadful aftermath is going to be chiefly what Tony is remembered for. It's all the more horrific because the Prime Minister had access to excellent advice that the Americans were heading for a disaster beforehand.

Johannesburg: sunset and storm

trials and tribulations, cont.d

I'm just back from Johannesburg, South Africa - been on a mission of mercy. My poor father has been diagnosed with multiple myeloma and is already in a fairly advanced stage: he's been in hospital with a severe bout of pneumonia and septicaemia. He was initially expected to pass away over the Easter weekend, but a change of meds pulled him through.

So, I have been resident for the last few weeks in my parents' retirement home - with no internet access and therefore no blogging.

Of course, I was out there last year aound this time, for about three months. He had had a stroke and a fall and broke the C1 vertebra. The hospital he was admitted to - a very zooty northern suburbs one - did not diagnose the stroke or the myeloma. I learn from my reading now that fractures are a primary indicator of myeloma (and advanced age and maleness), as are opportunistic infections of the lungs and renal system (both of which he contracted in a big way immediately upon entering the hospital for 'tests' - he was in their ICU for 8 weeks). So it is not comforting that they missed it, but of course we can't really complain as the condition is incurable anyway.

So. Poor old mum is not accepting the prognosis at all, so that was difficult. But on top of all this she was served with a court summons from last year's doctor alleging non-payment of his bill!! So I had that to sort as well. Luckily a close friend in Johannesburg is an attorney.

The SA medical system has given me a new-found respect for the NHS. SA is completely privatised, so everyone has to have medical insurance. Every medical practice handles their accounts differently, and the practices sometimes claim directly from the medicial insurers and sometimes don't, depending. Neither speaks to the patient, and if you ring the insurers it is typical call-centre hell. Chaos!

Anyway, we gritted teeth and dug deep and discovered Dr M had in fact been overpaid by the medical aid - significantly so. And my mother, confused by the doctor's accounts department badgering, had paid the patient portion three times over. Taken together, the bill was paid literally twice over. And now Dr M is trying for a triple!

One doesn't know whether the good doctor is trying his luck with an elderly and confused patient, or whether his own accounts department is up to something - unfortunately, I gather neither scenario is unheard of. I have compiled all our evidence into a summary of payments and our lawyer is taking to their lawyers.

It's all just beyond belief.

Jo'burg was looking good - had a look at the inner city and felt it was very clean and spruce. The municipality's regeneration project is clearly taking effect. We still had heavy thunderstorms in the afternoons, a typical summer weather pattern for Jozi but very odd for autumn.

Easter weekend news roundup

Riot at Primark - Evening Standard. Exciting times on Oxford Street! I must check out this Primark place of which you speak.

The Queen's loaf is saved - Evening Standard (no link). Apparently, HM The Queen was devastated to hear rumours that Waitrose was about to discontinue her favourite brown loaf - the "Ascot". "Indeed, so upset was she that a member of the Royal household was despatched to Waitrose to ask them to reconsider their decision, and restore the 59p loaf to the shelves."

Happily, the Ascot loaf has not been discontinued but merely repackaged - now it will be known as "thin sliced brown bread".

Waitrose says: "We have been consistently selling our Waitrose thinly sliced brown bread for many years. The bread is the quintessential English loaf, perfect for delicate cucumber sandwiches, or to serve with smoked salmon." Ha! So now we know how to make the perfect Royal cucumber sandwich for tea.

More rather intriguing Royal news/gossip in the Evening Standard:

The very curious world of the royal odd couple (no link, ES 05/04/07 p18). Where did Camilla go to recuperate from her hysterectomy? One of the three Royal palaces she shares with Charles? - or her own private house, away from Charles? The second guess would be correct. The article is interesting in that it reflects on issues arising in the royal marriage, mainly to do with his thoughtlessness. The moral this reader drew from the story: be wary of answered prayers, Camilla. One thing being the bit on the side. Quite another to be the main event.

Gay couples given keys to the Magic Kingdom as Disney relents - The Guardian Now gays can get married at Disneyland!

Chaos on sinking Greek cruise ship - BBC. It is quite unbelievable that a cruise liner can run aground and sink virtually in the Island's harbour. I definitely intend to avoid Louis Cruise Lines. Another of their boats had an engine fire in the English Channel last year, and apparently the company also owns the resort where the two English children died of carbon monoxide poisoning recently. Two French tourists are missing in this latest tragedy.

Finally, some shocking local news: Pregnant woman shot dead at flat. A few weeks ago, a teenager was shot near Clapham North station. This new murder seems to be related to a feud with a neighbour over parking. Just off Northcote Road, this is the epicentre of Nappy Valley, in estate agent speak "between the Commons", one of the most desirable stretches of property in this area. In BBC parlance, definitely "residential".

eggs eggs eggs

Backlash on Chesil Beach

Our national living literary treasure Ian McEwan has long remained gracefully dignified in the face of various moronic allegations of plagiarism. However, Natasha Walter's Guardian review of his new book On Chesil Beach obviously got to him in a big way.

However, unlike Jeanette Winterson, who famously and magnificently turned up on the doorstep of a disagreeable critic (in the middle of a dinner-party), McEwan has restricted himself to a critic slap-down on The Guardian's letters page:

" . . . she reported that my views about the peace movement stuck in her throat.

. . . I accept that being forgiven by critics is an occupational hazard, but just for the record and Ms Walter's throat, perhaps I could set this matter straight. When she was still at her primary school I was campaigning, writing and speaking against nuclear weapons. I was a member of European Nuclear Disarmament . . . "

His letter builds up to a thrilling climax:

"I sometimes wonder whether these common critical confusions arise unconsciously from a prevailing atmosphere of empowering consumerism - the exaltation of the subjective, the "not in my name" syndrome. It certainly seems odd to me that such simple precepts need pointing up: your not "liking" the characters is not the same as your not liking the book; you don't have to think the central character is nice; the views of the characters don't have to be yours, and are not necessarily those of the author; a novel is not always all about you."

Take that, Natasha! Oops! Oh, the shame.

100/10

Some exciting milestones: firstly, this is my 100th post! Hooray me! ~ and secondly, The Guardian reminds us this week marks the 10th anniversary of the birth of the blog. Now, a blog is born every second. Go, blogs!

Entertainingly, The Guardian's article quotes Andrew Keen, "a former dot-com entrepeneur" and the author of the forthcoming book Cult of the Amateur: How Today's Internet is Killing Our Culture. The title truly says it all. Mr Keen seems to think that most of web 2.0 is "digital narcissism": "It's seductive in the sense that it convinces people to think they have more to say and are more interesting than they really are," he said. "The real issue is whether it adds any more to our culture. Most of it is just so transient and ephemeral."

Hmmm. That's Life, Andrew. Methinks the description "former dot-com entrepeneur" is indicative - sour grapes, guy! The quality argument is completely fallacious, and has been made of every advance in communication technology since Plato dissed the invention of writing. I do like the "digital narcissism" quote though - I may borrow that for my profile!

The other pundit The Guardian quotes, Dan Gilmour (author of We The Media) is far more blog-friendly. I tend to agree with him:

"Blogging and other kinds of conversational media are the early tools of a truly read-write web," said Dan Gillmor, author of citizen journalism bible We The Media. "They've helped turn media consumers into creators, and creators into collaborators - a shift whose impact we're just beginning to feel, much less understand."

coffee break with shaggy blog stories

coffee break with shaggy blog stories, originally uploaded by hedgiecc.

Yay! It has arrived. Taken a pic to mark it's delivery, and also as part of the Shaggy Blog Stories flickr group marketing campaign. Clicky on piccy to take you to flickr, then click on the Shaggy Blog Stories link to see the rest of the pool.

Alternatively, just buy yourself a copy! To date, just over £2,000 has been raised for Comic Relief.

Those Fox's Creations Luxury Milk Chocolate Shortcake biscuits are my absolute favourites currently. Honestly, Sainsbury's can't restock quickly enough.

They have the ideal choclate:biscuit ratio, which is much more chocolate than biscuit. Yum!

Quote London

"London has survived Britain's century-long decline to carve out a role for itself as a semi-independent city-state. But will the price of becoming the global city prove too high for those who actually live here?" - A City of Capital, an essay in Prospect (via Daily Dish)

weekend news roundup

Miracle Nun: 'I wrote John Paul II's name and I was cured' - The Guardian A nun from Aix-en-Provence is cured of Parkinson's by writing the name of pope John Paul II. This may possibly put JPII on the fast-track to sainthood.

Can I get fired for blogging? - The Guardian. Well, yes. But Catherine Sanderson (Petite Anglaise) has won almost £30K + costs from her ex-employers accountants Dixon Wilson from a Parisian tribunal last week. Yay for her! I really don't know why employers are so touchy about blogging. My policy is not to discuss work at all, and certainly not even to blog from work or in official work time.

Blair: I'll be treading the boards again - The Observer Apparently, Tony has acccepted an offer from Kevin Spacey to act in a production of Arthur Miller's The Crucible at The Old Vic later this year. Tony will play the role of the Reverend John Hale.

This is exciting news. America has had a President who used to be an actor, and we here in the UK are about to have an actor who used to be the Prime Minister! Well done Kevin Spacey! - it's bound to be an amazing success, even if only for the novelty value. But apparently acting was Tony's first love, and his sketch with Catherine Tate for last month's Comic Relief television appeal was actually quite good, so the potential is there. I certainly plan to go.

Thursday picture: darkness at noon

City Hall from the Tower of London

statistical analysis - daleks and duchesses

Well, analysis shows that if you don't want to be taken for a food blogger stop blogging about food! By far the largest number of hits I'm getting on Google searches are from people looking for "Marks and Spencer Dalek cake".

Sorry, people, I haven't actually written about this cake - I mentioned purchasing and eating a M&S Dalek Easter Egg a couple of weeks back - but the idea of a Dalek cake sounds so great. And the very large number of people looking for one at M&S seems to suggest it might be real.

So I kept a look-out for it at the Clapham Junction branch yesterday but couldn't find it. Maybe they only have them at the larger branches. If they don't have one what an opportunity! M&S product development people take note! The two dalek-themed Easter Eggs were at Clapham Junction, although on floor-level shelving - slightly disrespectful to the glory that is Dr Who, I thought.

The £4.99 egg is all about the packaging - the vaguely dalek-shaped box contains a standard chocolate egg. However, the killer detail on the box is the speaking chip which cries "Exterminate! Exterminate!" on demand.

It is this feature which has to date saved my empty dalek box from the recycle bin.

I still pine for an actual chocolate dalek. However, the production costs of creating a mold for one might scare off licensees, and I understand the BBC doesn't hold the full copyright to the daleks anyway, so any deal would be a three-cornered discussion. Oops.

In other analysis news, my blatant and brazen strategy of naming every random celebrity going is bearing fruit. Out of the celebrities I've name-checked recently - eg Madonna, Terry Wogan, Fern Cotton, Jonathan Ross, etc etc etc - can you guess the one who tops the Clapham Ominbus charts?

Well, in a breakthrough for the British Aristocracy I can exclusively reveal our top celebrity is none other than Her Grace the dowager Duchess of Devonshire. There you go. Who said the British class system was dead, or even off-line?

Save Battersea Power Station

It's sheer hell to be so cynical yet so correct.

"Battersea Power Station’s future remains in doubt as the fantastic hulk of the art-deco building itself remains in sorry dereliction.
Yesterday, the Guardian reported that the new owners of the £400m prime 36+ acre riverside site, Treasury Holdings, had scrapped development plans approved by Wandsworth Council in November last year and speculated whether London might be about to lose the four iconic chimneys altogether to yet another bland, luxury, residential development if the Power Station is allowed to further deteriorate beyond the realms of renovation." (Londonist)

Wandsworth Council and previous owners, Parkview, refused to even consider an alternative report by a team of three companies of concrete experts brought together by the World Monuments Fund & Twentieth Century Society, who have revealed that the chimneys can be repaired for half the cost of demolition and rebuilding.

The independent report also revealed there is no sign of structural distress in the chimneys. When Parkview bought the site thirteen years ago, they promised to restore it, but instead sat on it and did nothing, merely hanging onto it as property speculators. They pushed through planning permission to demolish the chimneys, full of promises to restore the building, but instead immediately flogged it for a £240m profit, since the value of the site had increased hugely as a result of planning permission to demolish the chimneys. Profit not renovation was evidently their aim.

UK voters can sign the government petition here.

The Guardian article can be read here.

weekend news roundup

Cricket coach was poisoned and strangled, police believe
*Bob Woolmer knew hotel-room killer
*He was ready to expose corruption
*Fixing enquiry into Ireland game
- The Daily Telegraph

Poison again - well, at least this time it's unlikely to be polonium. But now a possible crime from the past is emerging:

Family to test Houdini’s body for poison “Descendants of Harry Houdini announced plans to exhume his remains following claims he was poisoned.” - The Daily Telegraph

Houdini died suddenly in 1926 – an international conspiracy of spiritualists is suspected. Houdini mocked the spiritualists. Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, a keen spiritualist, wrote that Houdini would “get his just desserts very exactly meted out”.

Gay British men pay fertility clinic £33,000 for designer babies - Sunday Times. The Fertitilty Institutes, the clinic in Los Angeles runs the programme. A Gay baby boom!

the tell-tail clue to decoding dog behaviour – it’s how they wag ‘em - Dogs wag their tails to the right when they see something fmiliar, such as their owner, and to the left when confronted with something they want to run away from, it was revealed yesterday. The bias is subtle, requiring video analysis to spot.” - The Daily Telegraph

Will Italy’s laws to cut bad driving get lost in the traffic?
5,000 died, 330,000 injured on Italian roads last year. - The Daily Telegraph

I wonder how the figures compare to the UK's? As a pedestrian, I would like to praise Italian drivers - they are amazingly polite and chivalrous towards idiotic tourist pedestrians. Totally unlike the French or British. A British pedestrian's life is very miserable. Just yesterday I got hooted at by an irate driver while I was crossing the street in front of my own home - miles away from his speeding car.

Lowry's dark imagination comes to light - The Observer. Disturbing and sexually deviant drawings have remained hidden since the iconic British painter's death in 1976.
Hmmm. LS Lowry left his entire estate to a teenage girl fan. I'm actually not a fan of his stuff.

Tate buys women's art for sex equality - The Sunday Times. The Tate does not possess a single Georgia O'Keefe or Frida Kahlo.

"Silicon Valley's dot-com era may be givig way to the watt-com era. Out of the ashes of the Internet bust, many technology veterans have regrouped and found a new mission in alternative energy: developing wind power, solar panels, ethanol plants and hydrogen-powered cars." - The New York Times


Fyffes warns of dearer bananas “Britain’s favourite food – the humble banana – is set to increase in price after Fyffes, one of the world’s largest importers, said it would pass on soaring costs of production to consumers.” - The Daily Telegraph

Abolition

"We may now consider that this trade as having received its condemnation; that its sentence is sealed; that this curse of mankind is seen by the House in its true light; and that the greatest stigma on our national character which ever exisited is about to be removed." - William Pitt in the House of Commons, 2 April 1792. Slightly prematurely, as the slave trade would only be abolished 15 years later, on 25th March 1807, and slavery itself banned throughout the British colonies in 1833.

Today is the 200th anniversary of the banning of the slave trade in the British Empire. While Britain was the most active and successful slave trading nation in the
18th century, it was also the first nation in recorded history to ban slave trading, and thence forward actively promoted the end of slavery internationally. From our perspective, slavery seems obviously wrong, but at that time it was common to justify slavery on biblical grounds - the dreaded Leviticus, no less, sanctions it. Fifty years after Britain banned the slave trade, the southern States of the USA were still using Leviticus to justify slavery, a position which led to the Civil War.

The Devil Wears Hennes

Yay for Madonna!

I can’t vouch for the clothes, but H&M’s PR department must be totally chuffed – The Guardian, no less, ran a photo-essay on the day the clothes hit the stores.

The ad is so cool; so visually gorgeous: and Madonna herself is so cool, so visually gorgeous, and yes, so funny – one can’t help but wonder why she has to date not made that iconic film performance. Surely with the right script and director it could still happen? It just has to! The poor woman is pushing 50 – she can’t be a dance diva forever!

The ad is Madge’s riff on The Devil Wears Prada – but this version ends happily, with the acolyte running off with the devil.

The You Tube phenomenon is fascinating, non? – with Viacom suing Google for millions, the only content producers happy about You Tube’s freedom are advertisers – totally free advertising downloaded and watched by people who are motivated to watch! Surely the Ad industry’s dream come true? I predict this is the future of advertising – product ads so sensational they achieve an indefinite half-life on the internet.

And once again Madge is on the crest of the wave. Clever girl – keep your focus on the product!

rhubarb update

It's best harvested by candlelight.

Shaggy Blog Stories

Mike at Troubled Diva has organized, compiled and produced a book of 100 of the best comic blogs in the UK to raise money for Comic Relief. All in one week! Astonishing commitment and energy, as well as a great idea. Shaggy Blog Stories features comic writing from not only the cream of British blogging, but also the best up-and-coming and undiscovered writers publishing their work on their own websites. It sounds like a really nice book to dip into, and to see what's happening out there on teh internets. After all, we are in the middle of the biggest revolution in informations systems since Gutenberg's printing press.

The book is produced and distributed by Lulu.com, an internet print-on-demand publisher (who is also donating their profits from the book to Comic Relief), so the entire project is very cutting-edge new media. I've ordered my copy today and you can too at:

www.shaggyblogstories.co.uk

Thursday photo: Magnolia (still hoping for Spring)

Cold, drizzly and nasty! - this photo seems like it was taken a lifetime ago. I want summer!

Grandad's medals

Grandad's medals, originally uploaded by hedgiecc.

Today my grandfather would have been 107 years old. These are his medals. He ran away from home at the age of 15 and lied about his age in order to join the airforce - before it was even called the RAF. He spent his entire working life there, rising to the rank of Wing Commander, and serving all over - Malta, Egypt, Aden, South Africa, Burma, Suez.

He visited us in Johannesburg when I was about 10. Every day, we would walk together to what he called "the village" - our local suburban shopping mall, where we would sit in a cafe drinking tea (and/or chocolate milkshakes and waffles).

Finally, it was time for him to take the Blue Train back down to Cape Town to join his ship sailing back to England (despite his long career in the airforce he hated flying). I kind of knew that this would be the last time I saw him, and therefore decided to "interview" him on my tape recorder. I remember he said he hoped the next time he saw me I would be "a general in the army".

The army was never my thing - even as a child I didn't like playing with toy soldiers, so I was slightly disappointed with his comment.

But my intuition was right - it was the last time we saw each other. Three years later he died of a stroke. Dad flew to London for the funeral, bringing back the medals.

Later, I came to London to study and stayed on afterwards. My aunt told me on his bedside table they found the poem I had written for him and read on the platform at Johnannesburg station all those years ago.

weekend news digest

Home sales gridlocked - The property supply is at a 10-year low, fuelling higher prices. Between 80 and 100 buyers are pursuing every property for sale. The average house price is now rising by £122 a day - Daily Telegraph. Ooh, sorry, hard for me not to be obnoxiously smug here . . .

Rocky Mountain High by John Denver, once nearly banned by the US for its alleged glorification of drug use, has become the Colorado state anthem - The Guardian

Sculpture that cost £132,000 crushed to dust - “A sculpture by Anish Kapoor, entrusted to a specialist fine art storage firm, was probably mistaken for builders’ rubble, dumped in a skip and destroyed by a waste crusher, a high court judge concluded yesterday” – The Guardian. The picture shows Anish Kapoor in happier times with his amazing installation Marsyas in Tate Modern’s turbine hall.

Police raid on theatre saves a lobster from certain death. “Avant-garde theatre is under attack in Italy for pushing the boat out too far after police raided a Milan playhouse to save a lobster from being bludgeoned to death and eaten on stage.
Following complaints from animal rights groups, the first-night performance of Incident: Kill to Eat by Argentinian playwright Rodrigo Garcia was broken up by three plainclothes officers who spared the lobster from an all-too-real death scene.” - The Guardian. Apparently, theatre is now more popular in Italy, with 13 million theatre tickets being sold last year, against 9 million football tickets.

£25 fridge gadget that could slash greenhouse emissions - The Guardian. This brilliant device (the e-cube) converts fridge thermostats to measure food temperature rather than air temperature, and thus saves huge amounts of energy. Fridges account for around 20% of domestic energy use, and fitting one of these to every fridge in Britain would reduce carbon dioxide emissions by more than 2 million tonnes a year, as well as saving on energy bills. A totally common-sense idea - hooray!

Exodus – villages empty as 3m flee in search of hope abroad. Zimbabwe today – average life expectancy – 37 (as opposed to 60 in 1990); infant mortality rate up to 81 per 1,000; national income per person is $340 against South Africa’s $4,960; 5.5m Zimbabweans live with HIV; 1.1m Aids orphans; 6 out of every 100 have a phone (47 in South Africa); 56% of the population live on less than $1 a day - The Guardian. This is all mainly thanks to the ineptitude and corruption of Robert Mugabe and his cohorts in Zanu-PF. I was born in Zimbabwe, and it is tragic to see how that wonderful country has failed.

End of the line for HP sauce - ‘The last bottle of HP sauce to be made in Britain rolled off the production line yesterday. The final batch of the iconic brown condiment was made at the company’s factory in Aston, Birmingham, at 6am.
Heinz, the parent company, is moving production to the Netherlands with the loss of 120 jobs. A spokesman for the Transport and General Workers’ Union said last night: “The plant has been a landmark for 108 years – you could smell it from miles away.”’ – The Telegraph

Britpop goes rocking back into the US: Amy Winehouse and the Fratellis spearhead British music’s new transatlantic chart assault - “A new wave of British bands is taking the Unirted States by storm – and being credited with ‘saving pop music’ in America. ‘British empire strikes back’ yelled the the USA Today newspaper, adding ‘The British are humming’ as it feted at least half a dozen UK artists poised to make it big across the Atlantic.” – The Sunday Times

Right – let’s talk rhubarb protection - “Food from Britain, the government-backed marketing organization, has launched an appeal to producers of local ‘signature foods’ to apply for European Union protection.” To date, 35 British foods have been awarded this status, against 161 French foods and 155 Italian foods. Surprise, surprise, listing means enhanced access to Euro-funding.
“Among the British foods now bidding for protected status is Yorkshire rhubarb, which is grown in an area around Leeds, Bradford and Wakefield known as the ‘rhubarb triangle’.
The application for EU recognition states the rhubarb is grown indoors, benefits from the cold, heavy Yorkshire soil and has a ‘superior’ flavour to its rivals.” - The Sunday Times

Big Brovaz wuz robbed!!

A fantastic, original song, a theatrical performance blasting energy - a vote-winner with the European observers present - so of course we didn't pick them. Doh!

Instead, Scooch won. Hyped as being 'a return to pop' (circa 1974, I'd say), this is a pitch-perfect example of its genre: the British Eurovision Song. It honestly would not exist without the Eurovision Song Contest. A teeny tiny part of me thinks its aggressive campery may just do it for us - however, the larger part thinks this will sink without trace. Deservedly so.

Justin Hawkins, ex-frontman of Darkness, and Beverlei Brown were the bookies' favourites. An absolutely inspired pairing with stupendous costumes. Sad the song was par-for-the-course Hawkins stuff, and for Eurovision greater attention should have been given to the choreography. This was never going to win; the package didn't live up to the ingredients.

Liz McClarnon's effort (Don't It Make You) Happy! was my second choice. I think she was let down slightly by off-production and opening-act nerves (although in spectacular voice) - the backing dancers appeared at least to this unschooled observer to be under-rehearsed.

Least said the better about Brian Harvey's ballad. I was pleased to see him fighting back from the verge of personal tragedy, etc etc etc.

Fern Cotton's dress was fantastic in the first half of the programme. But she reverted to that wide and deep v-cut neck-line in the second half WHICH DOES ABSOLUTELY NOTHING FOR HER! ~ note to stylist. It was amusing to watch her manage dear old Terry Wogan. His gaga old buffer act is reaching a fairly critical stage - is it actually, in fact, not an act at all??!! - He announced as the winner Cyndi's Celine Dion-esque effort, and had to be corrected by Fern. That this was the runner-up was a second reason for despair.

However, the ominously threatened Morrisey entry did not transpire, and for this all Smiths fans must be forever grateful.

This year's Eurovision Song Contest will take place in Helsinki on 12 May.

Meet the UK's Eurovision hopefuls
Gaffe mars Scooch Eurovision win

Leon Kossof at the National Gallery

After my lunch in Notting Hill I meandered my way back southwards via the National Gallery to have a quick peek. The free national collections are a major bonus to living in London - it's a pleasure to suddenly get the urge to say hello to the Titians and just pop in for 15 minutes or so.

Leon Kossof first visited the National Gallery on his own at the age of 10 in 1936. He made his way from his home in Hackney. Later, he said that for him, all roads in London led to the National Gallery. Wow.

A reproduction of his painting Spitalfields in one of the papers prompted me to have a look at the original. It has a wonderfully robust, almost sculptural presence of its own. Layers of oil paint are heaped up on the board and swirl luxuriantly across the surface. It's a mountainous landscape of gloopy impasto, especially visible at the edges of the painting from which, as it is unframed, the gallery lights project extraordinary shadows on the walls.

But this muscular abstractionism is delicately balanced by the representation of Christ Church Spitalfields. It is just there, in all its precipitous perspective. The creamy greys, blues and greens do correspond - almost tangentally - to the reality of architecture, trees and sky. The painting asks us to take it as an object, then conjures up a representation of something else.

The stream of ambiguity is deepened by Kossof's preferred Baroque sources in this exhibition - Poussin, Rubens and Hawksmoor. In his etchings Kossof renders the classical Poussinesque compositions clearly but within an expressive flickering framework of abstract marks. And it is notable how ambiguous these Baroque artists themselves all are - they all hover daringly on the border between classicism and outright expressiveness. Hawksmoor's towering pile is more expressive than a full-blown Gothic Cathedral; Poussin is surreptitiously partial to stretching figures and playing games with light for effect.

Leon Kossof: Drawing from Painting
14th March - 1 July 2007
Sunley Room
National Gallery
Trafalgar Square

www.nationalgallery.org.uk

Electric jolts

The last 18 months have taught me that your life can change in a moment. One Friday, you can be called up to your manager’s office for a lunchtime meeting to find yourself out on the pavement five minutes later, sans keys, credit card and job. You can then spend the next few weeks becoming an expert in employment law, briefing the best employment lawyer you can find, and generally fighting tooth-and-nail for a decent settlement. In the middle of all this, your father may suffer a stroke, fall and break his neck, and spend the next 3 months in hospital on the other side of the world in critical care with a variety of hospital superbugs.

Distracted, worried and depressed, it may take a while to find a new job. The mortgage is ticking away, taking with it your life savings. Options appear to be closing down. But one day, you get a call; an invitation to lunch.

Because no matter how bad or how good your day is, and in whichever sudden new direction the wheel of fortune has decided to throw you, there will always be food.

I can’t remember what I ate the evening I was fired. But my upswing started with lunch at the Electric Brasserie in Notting Hill. Time Out suggests one be persistent, and one “will eventually secure a booking at what is one of the most fashionable restaurants in Notting Hill” – sort of like my career path, really.

We industry gossiped and discussed job specs over a delicious salad of avocado, broad beans, radish, frisee and delicate slivers of Italian cheese – tossed in a fresh light dressing which did not overpower the tender vegetables. For my main I had a spinach and gorgonzola tart – the intensely flavoured cheese melted over wilted spinach in a super light pastry case, all working together coherently as a team. I was pretty much over the moon with this choice, as I had my doubts when ordering – so much could have gone wrong.

The dining room is loud (acoustics are of the echo-ey kind – a dropped glass sounded like a bomb going off), and we were seated next to a tableful of Notting Hillbillies, who brayed full bore while chasing lettuce around their plates with forks. So be prepared to shout.

Service was attentive, discreet and friendly, and the cappuchinos just so. My one quibble apart from the noise was the bread offering – the slices were open textured but drying out, and the butter provided was rock-hard. Apart from that, the kitchen really had it together. I would happily go back, anyway. Especially if life takes another upturn!

Electric Brasserie
191 Portobello Road
W11 2ED
020 7908 9696
www.the-electric.co.uk

Thursday pic - Spring is coming

sainsbury daffodils, originally uploaded by hedgiecc.

Sainsbury's special offer - 20 daffs for 90p :-)

[EDIT]

"I wandered lonely as a cloud
To Sainsbury's deli for my lunch
When all at once I saw a crowd
Of daffs at 90p a bunch"

- Barbara Rich, 2007

The lovely Barbara left this beautiful poem as a comment on my flickr stream - I like it so much I'm posting it here too!

Atonement

I saw on Jonathan Ross's Film 2007 that Working Title is going to release an adaptation of Ian McKewan's novel Atonement later this year, starring Keira Knightley and James McAvoy. I'm excited. Atonement is one of my favourite novels, and it certainly offers filmakers lots of scope for epic image making - a tragic love affair played out against a backdrop of glamorous 30's country house parties; the retreat to Dunkirk, and the London Blitz, with wild plot reversals all the way through.

The visuals Jonathan showed looked promising. The film is produced and directed by the same team that did the well-received recent Pride and Prejudice. It will be interesting to see what they do with the novel - despite the spectacular melodrama it will be a bit tricky to film. McKewan plays remarkable literary games in the novel which will not translate easily.

Weekend news digest

I found a Winterson manuscript on the tube – The manuscript of celebrated English novelist Jeanette Winterson's forthcoming novel The Stone Gods was found abandoned on a bench at Balham Station. Oops! - Evening Standard

Amazing grace – The dowager Duchess of Devonshire adapts to her life after Chatsworth by opening a pub in her home village – the Swan Inn at Swinbrook in the Cotswolds. Apparently, she once took tea with Hitler (“he didn’t make a great impression”). I once took tea with Her Grace at Chatsworth, so yikes! – I’ve had tea with the woman who had tea with Hitler. Six degrees of separation and all that. (ES Magazine)

Saturday 10th March – Osama bin Laden’s 50th birthday. Which makes him a caring, spiritual Pisces. Yeesh!

Let’s see what his horoscope says: “Living under the magnifying glass of the media may feel grossly uncomfortable for you. When it comes down to it, no amount of fame or fortune can bring the satisfaction that total freedom does. Since you learn through experience, you may achieve success, fame, and all the trappings before you realize how limiting it can be. You will always stand out as a refined rebel.”Hmm. Not bad so far. “Your ability to influence others is really quite remarkable . . . You have a seductive glamour that flows naturally and effortlessly . . . You are skilled at distilling raw emotion into something provocative and hypnotic”.

Angry crowds hunt Bush as protests mark start of Latin American tour – “Massive corruption scandals involving Brazilian politicians rarely elicit this kind of reaction. Even top-flight Brazilian football teams sometimes struggle to draw such crowds”- The Guardian

Gingrich admits having affair at time of Clinton scandal – The Guardian. The sleaze of politicians knows no depth or end.

Europe sets benchmark for tackling climate change – “millions of homes across Europe face losing filament lightbulbs after the EU agreed to draw up rules by 2009”. - The Guardian. Good show, terrific, etc, BUT how does this affect downlighters? - My flat has 19 of them. And I don’t want those spirally environment-friendly bulbs snaking out of my sockets and spoiling the ceiling plane. Also, the light they emit is awfully cold. I don't like it. As I find myself already planning on importing illicit supplies of lightbulbs from the third world, this is clearly going to be a test of my green credentials.

Sacred Roman settlement found next to Neolithic ‘devil’s hill’- Evidence of a Roman sacred site has been discovered at the foot of a man-made hill created thousands of years before the Romans arrived in Britain, it was announced...English Heritage called the uncovering of the settlement a “startling discovery”, and all the more so because it lies next to 5,000-year-old Silbury Hill, which at 130ft is Europe’s largest man-made prehistoric monument.”- The Telegraph

Daleks are good!

Dalek cake, originally uploaded by tiny_tear.

I was admiring this wonderful homemade dalek cake posted on flickr when my telephone rang - a job offer for me! Whee! Life can change in an instant. This time, thank heavens, for the better.

Daleks terrified me when I was small - they were totally evil, and their metallic voices very fearsome. My parents' often repeated reminders that Daleks couldn't climb stairs made no difference. Eventually, I was banned from watching Dr Who but somehow I would still be drawn to the TV, hiding behind the sofa where my parents were sitting watching. My presence was always revealed whenever things got too scary. Dad would then pick me up and return me to my bed, where the cycle would begin again.

Anyway, all that is behind us as clearly Daleks have a beneficial effect nowadays!

Later on on friday I spotted this chocolate Dalek easter egg from Marks & Spencer. A triumph of packaging - really, the box IS more interesting than the chocolate inside (which is just an ordinary egg. Well, it's chocolate, so no complaints from me, but how fabulous would a real chocolate Dalek be?)

The best part of the box is that it has a speaking chip which screams "Exterminate! Exterminate!" in true Dalek fashion. So I left it to patrol the kitchen while I ate the egg in front of the TV (yes, bad boy, a bit previous to Easter but what the hell, I was celebrating my new job offer) - watching Ugly Betty (hilarious), Gosford Park (genius), and The House of Mirth (depressing). The egg didn't last that long though.

Tower Bridge

London without Tower Bridge would be like Paris without the Eiffel Tower or New York without the Chrysler Building. They all transcend considerations of architectural taste or value to become symbols: totems drawing the tourists inexorably - for once you have seen them, been there, taken the photo and got the t-shirt, you can truly say you have visited the great city; inbibed its essence.

Tower Bridge is great because it's so naff. That Gothic revivalism - surely even in its time it was meant with a sense of fun?

It's a sympathetic partner for its neighbour, the Tower of London, but also references the most spectacular Gothic bridge of all - the medieval London Bridge, destroyed in the Georgian Enlightenment, and a ghost which still haunts this stretch of the river. Not for nothing is Tower Bridge still frequently mistaken for "London" Bridge.



But the cod-medievalism doesn't just cloak the robust Victorian engineering. Form does follow function - in an allusive sense. For what are those massive bascules if not oversized, paired drawbidges? Seeing them raised is a perfectly satisfying visual joke, and far more entertaining than a strictly functionalist version of the bridge would have allowed.

Opened in 1894, Tower Bridge is a good 11 years younger than Brooklyn Bridge in New York, another bridge with Gothic detailing allied with stupendous engineering achievement.



Tower Bridge Official website
Bridge lifting/opening dates and times

Orange alert

I am feeling so inadequate. I like being up-to-date with technology but am more than usually useless with trying to understand it.

Last year, Orange upgraded me to a Nokia 6280. Now, from my previous 'phone, a Nokia 6610i, I could quite happily email phone pics to my computer. Suddenly I couldn't. I recently travelled up to Birmingham and was able to shoot the iconic new Selfridges, and wanted the save the photos. Argh!!!!!!!

I have been through complete 'phone support hell trying to get it sorted so I could email the pics off the 'phone. Two very lengthy sessions with support people - today's chap had to refer to his supervisor who said (I could hear him in the background) that I hadn't 'registered' the 'phone and therefore that was why I couldn't email. End of session. Me left facing a faceless internet page.

Well, sorry, but if there was a checklist for techno-illiterates to follow, or even clear instructions on the website, that might be slightly helpful. As it is, I feel I have about 17 pass codes, email codes, security codes, etc etc etc, without the vaguest clue why I need them or what they are for. After hours of fruitless rootling around I finally got to a page where I could 'register' the 'phone (it's fairly well hidden).

It asked me for all my codes. Yikes. Filled them in in and pressed the button. Watched paint dry. Gave up.

So I took the extraordinary step of referring to my phone's handbook and eventually managed to connect it up to my laptop via bluetooth, whatever that is. Hooray! Thank the Lord for Apple! Now I can just bluetooth the pics across. And I can forget about email until it becomes impossible to ignore.

Have to say, I'm not a fan of the 6280. I prefer my old 6610i.

Weekend news roundup

Eclipse - On Saturday evening clear skies meant Londoners saw the first total lunar eclipse since 2001. The eclipse began at 8.18pm and was complete between 10.44pm and 11.58pm. The red shade is caused by sunlight scattering through the earth's atmosphere being reduced to mainly red wavelengths before being reflected off the moon's surface.

I missed the whole thing as I crashed at around 8pm! - Just too exhausted and couldn't take the pace.

BBC gives up appeal against injunction - The cash for honours affair gets even more interesting, and the politicians seem to be in even hotter water. "Although the precise allegations still cannot be disclosed for legal reasons, they are understood to relate to the 'heart of the investigation'.
. . . the BBC reported that the injunction related to an 'internal email' circulated in Dowing Street." - The Observer

Love is a more accurate indicator of life expectancy than smoking - Happiness s good for you! How to be happier: (a) - move nearer to the office. Commuting is bad for your mental health!; (b) - Get married - except children cause a strain on your happiness until they move out; (c) - Earn at least £25,700 a year: below that is bad, and above that not that much better - way above can actually be bad too; (d) - Get into gardening - 'flow' activities where your brain can switch off are excellent for your health; (e) Get out more - socialise, socialise, socialise! - The Observer

London - " . . . London is the clearing house of Europe, the Nineveh and Babylon of modern times, the wealthiest city on record.
. . . the Square Mile continues to boom. London has become the number one financial centre with the most foreign banks, 70 per cent of the world's secondary bond market and half the derivatives market. The City's 325,000 employees lapped up an estimated £9bn in New year bonuses." - Tristram Hunt, The Observer

The northern lights have the strangest side effects - Abisko in northern Sweden is a popular honeymoon spot with Japanese couples - "they believe babies conceived under the northern lights will become intellectuals. Hotel rooms with glass viewing roofs are popular, and every local seems to know about the collision 120 miles away in Gallivare, when a snowmobile hit an amorous couple displaying remarkable determination - not to mention blood flow - in a sleeping bag." - Ian Belcher, The Sunday Times

Centenary

Wystan Hugh Auden
(21 February 1907, York – 29 September 1973, Vienna)

My favourite 20th-Century poet, and an early hero. I loved The Shield of Achilles from my first reading of it probably around 1973. Later, his homosexuality intrigued me, but I remember reading the biography by Humphrey Carpenter at university depressed me for weeks. It all seemed so tragically sad.

He was felt to have abandoned England when he left for America in 1939; and perhaps his quite admirable political engagement up to that point made his departure especially difficult to fathom for both friends and critics. But it seems it was anxieties around his gayness which inspired the move and kept him from explaining why.

It is pretty remarkable he spent the 1930s visiting some of the low dishonest decade’s most troublesome flash-points – Germany; Spain; China.

His politics seem appropriate once again in the age of globalization and renewed colonial wars. Especially now, which has a most distinct feel of clever hopes once again expiring.

I love his struggle to keep his abundant lyricism checked; his tendency to undercut rhetorical beauty with the commonalities of modern idiom or reference. Very much the organizing principal of The Shield of Achilles, in fact.

The Fall of Rome
[For Cyril Connolly]

The piers are pummeled by the waves;
In a lonely field the rain
Lashes an abandoned train;
Outlaws fill the mountain caves.

Fantastic grow the evening gowns;
Agents of the fisc pursue
Absconding tax-defaulters through
The sewers of provincial towns.

Private rites of magic send
The temple prostitutes to sleep;
All the literati keep
An imaginary friend.

Cerebrotonic Cato may
Extoll the Ancient Disciplines,
But the muscle-bound Marines
Mutiny for food and pay.

Caesar’s double-bed is warm
As an unimportant clerk
Writes I DO NOT LIKE MY WORK
On a pink official form.

Unendowed with wealth or pity,
Little birds with scarlet legs,
Sitting on their speckled eggs,
Eye each flu-inflected city.

Altogether elsewhere, vast
Herds of reindeer move across
Miles and miles of golden moss,
Silently and very fast.
January 1947