Sunday, May 17, 2009

Live Tweeting the Eurovision Finals 2009


efan78 Is it bad that I feel like an excited kid on Christmas Eve every #Eurovision final day?

owenblacker If you're looking to avoid #Eurovision, you'll prolly want to unsub from me overnight tonight (paging @Beardy)
Beardy Closing Twitter for the night. Everyone's talking about Eurovision and I'm just not gay enough to give a shit

petshopboys Gay rights rally in Moscow has been brutally broken up by police while an anti-gay demo has gone ahead. Enjoy Eurovision!

zefrog@edwardclarke what time does the madness start? ie when do I need to step away from Twitter to avoid being flooded with Eurovision rubbish?
edwardclarke@zefrog In a few minutes - at 8. Not to worry, Twitter will collapse shortly thereafter!
zefrog Is logging off to avoid Eurovision madness on Twitter (though the thing is apparently scheduled to collapse under the number of tweets) #fb

Wossy #eurovision It's a bit like being on a cruise without the benefit of arriving anywhere at the end of the show.

davidschneider My family actually want me to talk to them rather than tweet. They're so last year #twumpet

ewanspence: 3 minutes to #eurovision 7 minutes to Failwhale #twumpet

Overture & Dima Bilan

bbceurovision WAHEY! And we're HERE! Happy #eurovision Final, everyone! - Paul
ewanspence And here we go, it's "Dima Bilans Saturday Night Takeaway!"
redmummy Sort of a young Depardieu with wires & now demolition - and very, very poor lip syching.@thoroughlygood You concentrating? #eurovision
efan78: Yay! Dima Bilan's face smashed into a wall!!
edwardclarke Will Dima take his shirt off? #Eurovision
owenblacker @ewanspence It must be said, I'm quite upset that he's removed lots of clothes but is still overdressed… #eurovision
owenblacker So busy admiring how pretty Dima is that I nearly forgot to unpause @ewanspence’s commentary :o$ #esc09
roughcognisance LOL @ Dima fucking up with his jacket, the Russian director must be shitting himself! MY PERFECT PRESENTATION RUINED, SHOOT THE BOY!!
valsadie: #Eurovision "Believe" song's not the same without that little ice skater dude... LOL!


edwardclarke Sensitive pouty Lithuanian lad. I think most "sophisticated" song of the evening (bar France) #Eurovision
roughcognisance Lithuania looks bald under that hat, and the song is ... bad. Really bad. Wow. #eurovision #twumpet
redmummy LITHUANIA Oh God he's spontaneously combusting. End of ....#eurovision
Wossy If the fire had come out of his arse I might have been impressed.


bletherer: This is the second time I can remember Israel has sent an apparently unironic 'peace' song ... and WTF is that dress? esc
Wossy #eurovision one of my dogs farted during the israel entry. Very apt.


bbceurovision First of the big hitters up next - Patricia Kaas from France. She's sold MILLIONS of albums right across Europe... - Paul
thoroughlygood Is Patricia's dress "under construction" ? #eurovision
edwardclarke: OMG Eye makeup!
ScoobyDoofus: This French bird looks like she's come straight here from the club she went to last night... #Eurovision
thoroughlygood Patricia is ONE SCARY LOOKING WOMAN #eurovision
edwardclarke@thoroughlygood bunny boiler, definitely!
efan78 Shouldn't Glenn Close be rehearsing for #Damages? #Eurovision Whoo! A dance at the end!


efan78 YAY SWEDEN - Remember campers, this is the one - pleeeease! #Eurovision
efan78 Although she does seem to have transplanted Madonna's Arms #Eurovision
thoroughlygood Our Guest says that Malena could ever so slightly look like a post-op transexual. I'm saying nothing. #eurovision
Wossy #eurovision The swedish entry does look rather as if she has a past in adult movies. And perhaps a future judging from the yodelling.
owenblacker Upping my outfits score on the strength of those masks #esc09
efan78 Psst! Swedish Backing group - lend one of those Phantom masks to Lord L-W please? #Eurovision
bletherer My god, it’s Ulrikakaka Goes Trance! #Eurovision
redmummy SWEDEN Is ANYONE counting the number of dead ostriches that have been used in this 'ere competition. Someone call RSPCA please #eurovision
bletherer I quite like Swedish Opera Trance, although it sounds like it could be a British Airways commercial #Eurovision


bletherer Croatia with tonight’s first Zorba the Greek entry. The first of many, one hopes #Eurovision
thoroughlygood It’s that smoldering looking bloke in his Doc Martens again. What a little crooner. #eurovision
ScoobyDoofus Mr Croatia looks a bit simple, bless him. #Eurovision


bletherer Our verdict on Portugal - quite impressed. I have clearly misjudged the fat chick and accordion combo and I apologise #Eurovision


ScoobyDoofus I didn’t know Melinda Messenger was from Iceland... #Eurovision
r_mackinnon Thanks be to jeebus for some music. Thanks, Iceland. You’ll get some votes for that. And the lesbian PM #eurovision
redmummy #eurovision Iceland Mediocrity reaches new heights
helenrf Iceland for me :) but NOT the dress! #eurovision
bbceurovision There seems to be a bit of a ‘toilet-roll holder’ theme with the frocks in this year’s #eurovision... -Paul


ewanspence Its Greece next. Sakis Rova can jump higher than any other man on the planet, and has an amazing sun-tan bed on stage #eurovision #twumpet
efan78 Has he opened more buttons on his shirt for the final? Will it work? Do we care so long as it's man-totty?
bletherer Greece is pretty epic. Is trance making a comeback or something? I think their singer may have waxed his chest #Eurovision
redmummy GREECE Ah, yes - the light box fandango. What do you reckon the lycra content of his trouser is? They haven't split ... yet. #eurovision
Wossy #eurovision He is like a nightmare Ibizan sex pest.
Simonique: Love Greece!!! Like being in Heaven off your face at 3 In the morning! #eurovision
thoroughlygood You tacky tacky queen Sakis. #eurovision
ScoobyDoofus Greece's entry is gayer than Scooch, and that's saying something. #Eurovision
valsadie #eurovision (rendered speechless by Greece in convulsive laughter!)


bbceurovision Yes, it’s the Brides of Dracula! I love ‘em! :D
Wossy #eurovision I am going to move to Armenia.
Wossy #eurovision dem is some fine, hot, mediaeval bitches right there.
thoroughlygood Ladies and Gentlemen . . the best song of the night is from Armenia. Hurrah #eurovision


Wossy #eurovision I am with Peter Tatchell. Figuratively. Go on Graham, say it ! They are backward fascists. Dumb ass russians.
owenblacker Ooh, was that slightly controversial, Graham commenting on this morning's gay pride stuff in Moscow? #esc09
owenblacker@edwardclarke Twas a comment about "heavy handed policing being something that's marred this year's #Eurovision" or words to that effect


ewanspence And now, the hosts Russia will attempt to sing “My Lovely Horse” and not have to spend 36 million Euros in 2010 #eurovision #twumpet
ScoobyDoofus Is the Russian singer wearing a towel? #Eurovision
thoroughlygood Russian girl seems to be wearing a shower curtain #eurovision


ScoobyDoofus: Ooh the hair thieves! They come in the night. STEAL your hair, they do, and sell it into slavery, in Azerbaijan.
bletherer: I think their backing singers might be fellers. Cracking!

Bosnia & Herzegovina

ewanspence Bosnia next - if coldplay ever did eurovision, it would look like this, right down to the Ridley Scott Hero Pose (tm) #eurovision #twumpet
thoroughlygood OK .. I’m off to the kitchen to get the Vietnamese Prawn Rolls whilst the cast of Les Mis do their song for Bosnia & Herzogovina #eurovision
Simonique #eurovision love a bit of drama school ‘movements’ re: Bosnia.


edwardclarke Moldova: *escapes to kitchen for a refill* #Eurovision
Wossy #eurovision a strapping lass. Let’s hope she milks a cow for the finale.


edwardclarke "She never met a malteser she didn't like " Haha best comment yet Graham #Eurovision
Wossy #eurovision Malta has set one of the dogs into a weird frenzy. he either loves her or hates her. Too soon to tell.
ScoobyDoofus I think the Malteser just took a bite out of the microphone... #Eurovision
roughcognizance Does Chiara have a license for those boobs? #eurovision


ewanspence Estonia next, very much a classical piece, making full use of the 200m2 of LED screens... to hide behind #eurovision #twumpet
ScoobyDoofus Seriously, did the Estonian girl actually use the fiddle at any point? #Eurovision
edwardclarke OK Minus points for gratuitous use of violin. #Eurovision


edwardclarke Faux Boyzone now #Eurovision
edwardclarke He's relatively easy on the eyes though
thoroughlygood Brinck from Denmark. Top or Bottom? #eurovision
efan78: Tonight Matthew, I'm going to be... Ronan Keating with a Speech impediment #Eurovision
bletherer Ronan Keating wrote Denmark's entry, and the singer has taken it on himself to sing it in the style of a talentless Irish nit #Eurovision
ScoobyDoofus I thought they said Ronan wrote it, not that he was SINGING it... #Eurovision
bbceurovision So should the UK get Ronan to write one for us next year?
edwardclarke@bbceurovision NNOOOOO! #Eurovision
bletherer: Actually, this could have charted.... in 1997 #Eurovision
owenblacker As my wife put it: If Ronan Keating had never existed, this would be quite good #esc09


owenblacker Really do love Ditta von Teese's outfit; shame they won'let her wear it properly: #esc09
edwardclarke I'm dying to see Dita :-) #Eurovision
roughcognizance OH MY GOD TROUSERS MY EYE MY EYES. Though Dita Von Teese is supposed to appear during this, should be fun. #eurovision
edwardclarke I actually like his sparkly trousers! #Eurovision
Wossy #eurovision Germany have the best clothes. Love dem trousers
davidschneider Love the tight mirrorball trousers. And he's definitely not Jewish #trumpet
Wossy #eurovision anyone know where Dita Von T stores her internal organs ?
owenblacker That is a different top she's wearing isn't it? #esc09
edwardclarke@owenblacker Yep, it is! How come that one made it past the costume police? #Eurovision
Wossy #eurovision Germany !!! This is what John Barrowman dreams of after a cheese feast.
thoroughlygood: Are his trousers "day wear" @redmummy?
bletherer Dig the lead singer’s sparkling leggings ... in an alternative universe where I have no shame #Eurovision
Simonique #eurovision definition of irony = German poof singing about Miss Kiss Kiss Bang. You're mum knows you're gay!!! Disco ball trousers!!
ScoobyDoofus His shiny trousers are a crime against humanity. #Eurovision


efan78 Hmm, Middle eastern sound, drums, short sharp vocal sounds - must be Turkey (Again!) #Eurovision
Wossy #eurovision What are the Turkish ladies wearing round their ankles? Are they electronically tagged to make sure they return?
bletherer Shakira met a package holiday to Izmir down a back alley and clearly this is the result #eurovision


bbceurovision Are we all loving the blue sparkly gimp?
ewanspence Nightmare time, as the Green Gimp and two Derek Zoolander midgets join Kejsi Tola on stage for Albania #eurovision #twumpet
Wossy #eurovision If you know you're performing on a big stage why hire such small dancers ?
bletherer Albania have kidnapped Geri Halliwell and forced her to become the Blue Man Group's ginger love slave #Eurovision
Wossy #eurovision Albania. This is just wrong. Surely. Didn't anyone else enter in Albania ?
davidschneider If this were a dream I had I would make sure I never slept again #twumpet
bbceurovision Or is the blue-green man a little happy dancing condom?


Simonique #eurovision Norway - men humping the stage, always good.
owenblacker A *girl* you knew, Alexander? Really? #esc09
bbceurovision Have Norway fiddled the vote? Fiddle? Get it?


bbceurovision Another of my favourites now - UKRAINE with Svetlana and the cast of the movie "300"...
edwardclarke Svetlana is such a trouper! #Eurovision
Wossy #eurovision Ukraine have given me a headace. Her groin/ hip area is over-active.
redmummy UKRAINE Anti-crisis bomb? Oh yes, this is the best case for nuclear weapons I've heard for years! Where's the red button?
thoroughlygood My mother just called. She wants to call the BBC to complain about Ukraine. #eurovision
ScoobyDoofus Wish the cameraman would actually focus on those Ukranian dancers... #Eurovision
owenblacker Ah yes, I do remember liking the Ukranian dancers before ;o)
edwardclarke Have those centurions stripped, washed and taken to my tent! #Eurovision
roughcognizance@edwardclarke Why would you want them washed? #eurovision
davidschneider Those wheels! This is like porn for hamsters #twumpet #eurovision
efan78 So, is this SPARTAAAAA!!!? anyone? Although if there were ever a pair of f-me boots - they'd be the ones. #Eurovision
style_therapy Of course she plays drums. Of course. Ukraine might get my Eurovision vote for sheer WTF factor...
Simonique #eurovision Ukraine - might as well be in Chariots. Camp camp camp!!!
davidschneider My sexuality is all over the place now. I'm off to join the Roman army


bletherer I went to Romania once to visit the offices of Hewlett-Packard. Based on what I saw, this song does not surprise me #eurovision
kvinnesland #eurovision Romania is better with the sound off. Likk no body, likk no body.. What?


bbceurovision IT'S OUR TIME! Jade is on next...
Wossy #eurovision Please god let Andrew LW be dressed as the phantom or a cat.
ewanspence Andrew Lloyd Webber is not dressed as The Phantom (Of the Opera). Missed chance there I think. #eurovision #twumpet
thoroughlygood What a fantastically sober coloured shirt the Lord is wearing
efan78 DON'T LOOK AT THE CAMERA ANDREW, for the love of 'God, just don't! #Eurovision
edwardclarke@efan78 Why? Do you think he might break it? #Eurovision
efan78@edwardclarke No, but every look is 5 million voters lost from fear ;-P
owenblacker Hur. From Thingbox: "What's that behind Lord L-Webber? Oh yeah, his career." Hur. #esc09
style_therapy Ooh, classy outfits on all the UK performers, which is a nice change from last year. And is that ANDREW LLOYD WEBER?
davidschneider OK. We get it. It's your time. #twumpet
davidschneider Well, at least we've got the best-looking pianist #twumpet #eurovision
kvinnesland #eurovision UK has entered the wrong contest. Beautiful song, but do they expect to win without a stupid show and silly pants?
roughcognizance Technically brilliant, moving and emotional. Still not convinced it's #Eurovision material though.
style_therapy The UK putting in a halfway decent showing at Eurovision? That's just not on. I feel kind of cheated.


Wossy #eurovision Finland have lost the plot. They should have phoned each other to co-ordinate outfits. Sir Ben Kingsley raps. Who knew ?
Simonique #eurovision did Finland not get the memo? It's not 1999 anymore!!!
davidschneider Finland has the highest rate of suicides in the world. That's all I'm saying. #twumpet #eurovision


Kogenre Spain: The set designer overdosed on purple. Waaayyy tooo much.
edwardclarke Oh Soraya isn't wearing that gorgeous white dress - this is quite tarty. #Eurovision
ScoobyDoofus Is that Duncan from Blue dancing for Spain?
edwardclarke@ScoobyDoofus the boy dancers are way too overdressed! #Eurovision
ScoobyDoofus@edwardclarke Maybe they should have borrowed the centurion costumes from Ukraine...
edwardclarke@ScoobyDoofus I actually would have preferred those with slightly fewer encumbrances, also! :-) #Eurovision

Voting, Interval and Scoring

ewanspence Thats your 25 of the night! Who gets your vote? Time to open the voting by leaving Europe and going to a SPACE STATION!
bbceurovision Space. the Final Frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Eurovision...

edwardclarke Ok, will the rest of evening be ruined??? Tension mounts! #Eurovision Time for tea.

ScoobyDoofus Hmmm. I think I want Finland to win, followed by the Ukranian dancers. And third choice is Portugal. #Eurovision
davidschneider Well, it's Armenia for me. Best Eurovalue: UberGreek, the Moldovan Space Invader dancers and the revolving Albanian dwarves

ewanspence Interval act demands the phrase "can I have what theyre having?" Pity the Olimpisky stadium is (allegedly) alcohol free #eurovision #twumpe
ewanspence Nothing like some watersports at Eurovision <fx:ducks> #eurovsion #twumpet
Wossy#eurovision let Lord Lloyd Weber have a swim in the puddle. Please. But watch out - if he gets wet he turns into a gremlin.

Wossy #eurovision please don't turn the lights on over the audience. Like being in a euro night club at chucking out time.

edwardclarke Pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease can UK has some votes at least, this year??! #Eurovision
thoroughlygood I think we'll know after the first two countries have cast their votes how the UK has done. #eurovision
ewanspence: Spain vote 8 for POrtugal (cough), 10 for UK (yaay, that;'s promising) and 12 to Norway. #eurovision #twumpet
thoroughlygood HURRAH for Spain!
edwardclarke Spain I love you!
ScoobyDoofus@edwardclarke I think we've peaked...

. . .

efan78 Ah bejesus! 10 points from the Oirish! May all your rainbows have leprechauns! #Eurovision

. . .

DavidBrain #eurovision Wow Iceland have more Eurovision points than money

. . .

ScoobyDoofus So, we just need 190 points from the next two votes, and we've won!


zefrog Is it over yet? #eurovision
thoroughlygood So we're in the top five. Alright then. Yes. I can face Monday. Life can continue. UK team should be pleased - even if I was over-optimistic
davidschneider It's not the winning that counts. It's the coming fifth #twumpet #eurovision
bbceurovision I'm frankly amazed that Ukraine hasn't done any better. Think of poor Svetlana and her mortgaged flat!

thoroughlygood Has Dima Bilan had a stroke since the beginning of the programme? #eurovision
plastic_snowman@thoroughlygood he's still recovering from running through those walls

owenblacker RT @CllrTim: Who would have thought, after this week, a bloke on the fiddle could be so popular. #twumpet #eurovision
davidschneider: The Norwegian boy might lose his virginity tonight. The Albanian dwarves have their eyes on him

roughcognizance Norway was just so. fucking. shit. It's like the poetry a 15 year old geek writes for his GCSE English course. #eurovision
roughcognizance And in non-Eurovision news, I have a cookie. Nom nom.

efan78 RT @J0rdanhunt i went shopping today! im so happy and i just watched the Eurovision dong contest with my mom, havnt seen her in like a month
efan78 Am I the only person scared of the #Eurovision Dong contest? ;-P
edwardclarke@efan78 Now we’re talking!
efan78@edwardclarke Actually, we could get all the stoners together and hold the #Eurovision Bong Contest
bbceurovision What a fantastic night, I thought. One of my fave #eurovision finals ever. Lovely to be in with a chance for once! Roll on 2010!
redmummy I really do NOT like that Norwegian kid's face. I'm not watching next year. End of. (I say that every year). #eurovision - See you next year
thoroughlygood #Eurovision is all over now. Thank God for that.


juli_e bbc news seems to have misinterpreted the new voting system as a voting system guaranteed to give the UK a win #twumpet

GrahamNorton Well everyone we didn’t win! Remind me to strike Norway off as a holiday destination, unless I’m wearing ear plugs! Only joking of course! x

style_therapy@Richaod Any time! I don't know how I ever did Eurovision without Twitter.

More Tweets:
Eurovision 2009 Semi Finals 1
Eurovision 2009 Semi Finals 2


Hedgie said...

hur. Link-tastic! *Retires to darkened room*

Love Clapham said...

It was definitely one of the best shows in years. Jade was awesome and the winner was a catchy, cheesy, euro pop track. Greece and Ukraine put on one of their now traditional stand out performances and Iceland was the best song of the night in my opinion. France was weird.